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posted ago by 94f450d ago by 94f450d +414 / -0

😜

ME: CDC, should I get poked if I already had Covid?

CDC: “Yes, you should be poked regardless of whether you already had COVID-19. That’s because experts do not yet know how long you are protected from getting sick again after recovering from COVID-19.”

ME: Oh, okay, we don’t know how long natural immunity lasts. Got it. So, how long does poke-induced immunity last?

CDC: “There is still a lot we are learning about COVID-19 pokes and CDC is constantly reviewing evidence and updating guidance. We don’t know how long protection lasts for those who are poked.”

ME: Okay … but wait a second. I thought you said the reason I need the poke was because we don’t know how long my natural immunity lasts, but it seems like you’re saying we ALSO don’t know how long poke immunity lasts either. So, how exactly is the poke immunity better than my natural immunity?

CDC: …

ME: Uh … alright. But, haven’t there been a bunch of studies suggesting that natural immunity could last for years or decades?

CDC: Yes.

NEWYORKTIMES: “Years, maybe even decades, according to a new study.”

ME: Ah. So natural immunity might last longer than poke immunity?

CDC: Possibly. You never know.

ME: Okay. If I get the poke, does that mean I won’t get sick?

BRITAIN: Nope. We are just now entering a seasonal spike and about half of our infections and hospital admissions are poked people.

ME: CDC, is this true? Are there a lot of people in the U.S. catching Covid after getting the poke?

CDC: We stopped tracking breakthrough cases. We accept voluntary reports of breakthroughs but aren’t out there looking for them.

ME: Does that mean that if someone comes in the hospital with Covid, you don’t track them because they’ve been poked? You only track the UN-poked Covid cases?

CDC: That’s right.

ME: Oh, okay. Hmm. Well, if I can still get sick after I get the poke, how is it helping me?

CDC: We never said you wouldn’t get sick. We said it would reduce your chances of serious illness or death.

ME: Oh, sorry. Alright, exactly how much does it reduce my chance of serious illness or death.

CDC: We don’t know “exactly.”

ME: Oh. Then what’s your best estimate for how much risk reduction there is?

CDC: We don’t know, okay? Next question.

ME: Um, if I’m healthy and don’t want the poke, is there any reason I should get it?

CDC: Yes, for the collective.

ME: How does the collective benefit from me getting poked?

CDC: Because you could spread the virus to someone else who might get sick and die.

ME: Can a poked person spread the virus to someone else?

CDC: Yes.

ME: So if I get poked, I could still spread the virus to someone else?

CDC: Yes.

ME: But I thought you just said, the REASON I should get poked was to prevent me spreading the virus? How does that make sense if I can still catch Covid and spread it after getting the poke?

CDC: Never mind that. The other thing is, if you stay unpoked, there’s a chance the virus could possibly mutate into a strain that escapes the pokes protection, putting all poked people at risk.

ME: So the poke stops the virus from mutating?

CDC: No.

ME: So it can still mutate in poked people?

CDC: Yes.

ME: This seems confusing. If the poke doesn’t stop mutations, and it doesn’t stop infections, then how does me getting poked help prevent a more deadly strain from evolving to escape the poke?

CDC: You aren’t listening, okay? The bottom line is: as long as you are unpoked, you pose a threat to poked people.

ME: But what KIND of threat??

CDC: The threat that they could get a serious case of Covid and possibly die.

ME: My brain hurts. Didn’t you JUST say that the poke doesn’t keep people from catching Covid, but prevents a serious case or dying? Now it seems like you’re saying poked people can still easily die from Covid even after they got the poke just by running into an unpoked person! Which is it??

CDC: That’s it, we’re hanging up now.

ME: Wait! I just want to make sure I understand all this. So, even if I ALREADY had Covid, I should STILL get poked, because we don’t know how long natural immunity lasts, and we also don’t know how long poke immunity lasts. And I should get the poke to keep a poked person from catching Covid from me, but even if I get the poke, I can give it to the poked person anyways. And, the other poked person can still easily catch a serious case of Covid from me and die. Do I have all that right?

ME: Um, hello? Is anyone there?

Comments (61)
sorted by:
41
deleted 41 points ago +47 / -6
11
ProphetOfKek 11 points ago +11 / -0

Oy vey!

2
deleted 2 points ago +4 / -2
3
novanglus 3 points ago +3 / -0

On point. What's a nagila and why do I have to have one?!

4
deleted 4 points ago +6 / -2
-4
CQVFEFE -4 points ago +4 / -8

God, if only our hero Hitler had been able to finish the job, the solution to the world's problem.

/s

2
deleted 2 points ago +6 / -4
26
fat50 26 points ago +26 / -0

I'm stealing this.

21
94f450d [S] 21 points ago +21 / -0

Steal away fren. I stole it myself😂

5
muhqtardtho 5 points ago +5 / -0

And you did that thing I told OP to do and fixed the formatting. Well done fren.

3
rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

its brilliant, really. stealz

20
farpointpatriot 20 points ago +20 / -0

OK OP .... FIRST LET ME CLEAR SOMETHING UP: This is NOT A SHITPOST. Nope, it is a work of GENIUS.

This is fucking awesome. If THIS was in the mainstream ... yes, THIS post, in the 'mainstream', public sentiment would shift to the side of TRUTH within 48 hours.

Fuck Fren ... THIS needs to be a TIC TOC Video.

11
94f450d [S] 11 points ago +11 / -0

Ok.ok yall beat me to death.i pulled the shitpost flair.😂😂

I found it on fakebook.how mainstream its going,dont know and i cant repost cuz banned again.😡😡

Youre right.it would be a good video. But i dont do videos so thats another pedes job.

6
ChocktawRidge 6 points ago +6 / -0

I posted it there for you, see if I get banned again.

3
GDZeus 3 points ago +3 / -0

Come back and let us know if you get banned for posting it.

1
ChocktawRidge 1 point ago +1 / -0

Not yet! I got restricted for a bit for posting the pics of nazis and current authorities checking papers though. That was something.

13
Hopiumaddict 13 points ago +13 / -0

Hahaha mental gymnastics - liberal logic.. leftist are so scared to ask real questions. All they do is parrot what the talking box tells them. ReeeEEEEeeeeEEE

12
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94f450d [S] 11 points ago +11 / -0

Never seen it. I grabbed it off fakebook this morning.

I try not to post something already posted.

11
monkeycat2010 11 points ago +12 / -1

I posted it last night but did a terrible job at it. I didn't know how to format it right. Yours was much better.

I am just being a child.

No worries, fren.

Thanks for responding though.

4
TakeItBack 4 points ago +4 / -0

I never saw it either; thanks for posting it.

10
The_Greeatship_Pilot 10 points ago +10 / -0

Brilliant.

It might seem they're a bunch of idiots, but in reality they are liars trying to save an agenda. On second thought the idiot theory still holds water because the lies they've chosen to tell don't.

9
VaccinesCauseSIDS 9 points ago +9 / -0

Vaccine propaganda makes sense, until you think about it.

3
TakeItBack 3 points ago +3 / -0

The vaccine propaganda has not made sense to me since the late 70s.

6
ItCameOutOfACan 6 points ago +6 / -0

Im waiting to hear a stand-up comedian say, "I got tired of listening to my wife so I sent her to get the jab."

5
VaccinesCauseSIDS 5 points ago +5 / -0

We should start a rumor about a bad man who wanted to whack his wife for her life insurance money, so he talked her into getting the clotshot, while he had an airtight alibi.

3
CokeOrPepe 3 points ago +3 / -0

Too bad insurance won’t pay out for experimental injections!

1
ThePowerOfPrayer 1 point ago +1 / -0

He's trying to short circuit the fact checkers, no doubt.

6
Kussdom 6 points ago +6 / -0

Ha ha, I hope this was an actual conversation! Liberal mind on the other end exploding!!

3
AngelCole 3 points ago +3 / -0

More like glitching than exploding.😂

5
Recyclops 5 points ago +5 / -0

The CDC doing their best "Who's on first?" impression. 😄

2
mengderen 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah, but who's on third??? How did he make it there??

5
Bedminster 5 points ago +5 / -0

Or you can be a good sheep and watch the local news talking heads tell you it's safe and everyone needs to take it.

4
monkeycat2010 4 points ago +4 / -0

You took this from my post but formatted it better.

Hurumph!

2
Graceunderfire 2 points ago +2 / -0

Lol, have a second hand upvote buddy.

4
VetforTrump 4 points ago +5 / -1

"That's because experts don't know how long you are protected against covid19"

Then they ain't experts. That word is useless.as hell. Any of us k ow more than them.

3
JiggsawCalrissian 3 points ago +3 / -0

Too true for the shitpost tag

3
tattletalestrangler 3 points ago +3 / -0

Great piece of work for whoever came up with this.

3
apricorn 3 points ago +3 / -0

You can argue logic until you are blue in the face. It still comes down to this:

  1. Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.
  2. Be armed.
3
MikeOhio 3 points ago +3 / -0

One of the concerns with vaccines against SARS-CoV-2 has been something called antibody-dependent enhancement (ADE). It is a paradoxical immune enhancement that occurs in people who were vaccinated against a specific virus, who when exposed to the wild type virus, experience a more severe infection!

2
CQVFEFE 2 points ago +2 / -0

Genius.

2
Tazzurit 2 points ago +2 / -0

So logical. Well done. Too bad the MSM doesn't follow the logic.

2
Snowgirl 2 points ago +2 / -0

Brilliant post!!!

2
judypatriot 2 points ago +2 / -0

Babylon Bee-esque! Thank you for the art is life dialogue of the morning.

2
nadlersskidmark 2 points ago +2 / -0

Were you eavesdropping on my conversation with the CDC? Hahah! This is a gem!

2
chillbilly 2 points ago +2 / -0

New york times posted that? Source?

3
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chillbilly 3 points ago +3 / -0

Thank you sir

3
ItCameOutOfACan 3 points ago +3 / -0

Have you possibly checked The New York Times? That would be a good start.😂

1
muhqtardtho 1 point ago +1 / -0

Research board btw.

1
Wishiwastrumpswife 1 point ago +1 / -0

That’s awesome!

1
numina18 1 point ago +1 / -0

Really good one!! Gotta save this to show the normies!

1
PortugueseMamaC 1 point ago +1 / -0

Excellent!

1
dinsdale69 1 point ago +1 / -0

Like a good book, I could read this 100 times.

1
Uncle_Fester 1 point ago +1 / -0

Marking for future reference.

1
CokeOrPepe 1 point ago +1 / -0

#MeToo

1
QdaPeeps 1 point ago +1 / -0

My brain hurts, and I'm pretty sure that was illegal laying it all out for God and everyone to see!

Brilliant.

(Let us know what you bail is and where to send it!)

1
HardWorkinPatriot 1 point ago +1 / -0

Brilliant

1
rupedoggydawg 1 point ago +1 / -0

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