God bless you. I have no concept of what you must have lived through. I only mention this so you know you're not alone: I have experience with spending 30 years suppressing trauma related anxiety that became so bad that I was heavily hallucinating, couldn't differentiate between my dreams and the real world... until one evening, after working in the city, I didn't know how to find my way home. I went to hospital. I'm a vegetarian because I can't cope with the sight or smell of cooked meat. It took me 30 years to learn that not every problem can be solved using force of will alone.
I'm still struggling.
I suspect life is a roller coaster for everyone - most people just don't share it or use distractions to hide it from themselves.
I believe God does answer every prayer - rarely how or when we want, but always perfectly in the way that we need. Sometimes we must travel far to get to where we need to be.
God bless you. I have no concept of what you must have lived through. I only mention this so you know you're not alone: I have experience with spending 30 years suppressing trauma related anxiety that became so bad that I was heavily hallucinating, couldn't differentiate between my dreams and the real world... until one evening, after working in the city, I didn't know how to find my way home. I went to hospital. I'm a vegetarian because I can't cope with the sight or smell of cooked meat. It took me 30 years to learn that not every problem can be solved using force of will alone.
I'm still struggling.
I suspect life is a roller coaster for everyone - most people just don't share it or use distractions to hide it from themselves.
I believe God does answer every prayer - rarely how or when we want, but always perfectly in the way that we need. Sometimes we must travel far to get to where we need to be.