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Are you an NPC? ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ DISCUSSION ๐Ÿ’ฌ
posted ago by sleepydude ago by sleepydude +35 / -1

Here's an experiment to discover if you're an NPC:

First, visualize a square in your mind.

Give it a color.

Turn it into a cube, and let it hover, while you begin rotating it in your mind.

Does it have a shadow underneath it now?

Give the cube a name.

Say "Hello ____!" in your mind and visualize it jumping up and down like an excited puppy.

Now imagine picking up a stick and throwing it past the cube.

Yell "Fetch" and imagine the cube going over to pick up the stick, with a newly formed mouth, and bringing it back to you.

Did you notice the background/room you're in? What color is it?

Did the cube have a tongue?

What color was the tongue?

Pat the cube on the head, and say "Good bye ____!" and watch it vanish into dust like an Avenger during a Thanos Snap.

Did you feel sad?

Finally, without mouthing the words, say to yourself "The true friends were the cubes we met along the way..."


Now, if you followed along until the end, congratulations, you aren't an NPC.

If you already had a color for everything before I told you to color them, don't worry, that's a good thing, it means your brain automatically makes connections between two indirectly related things in order to more quickly access information using associative neuron shortcuts. You have the power of relative association!

If at any point you asked yourself "where the hell is he going with this" and then came to your own conclusion, having formed a potential moral to the story and understanding and recognizing that I have my own motivations for writing this up, then you are a critical thinker!

If you could imagine the cube acting like a puppy and fetching a stick, despite looking like a cube, then you have a creative imagination!

If you are able to take apart the cube in your mind like a carboard box and create an oragami-like 2d template of it while also spinning it around, with a shadow reflecting the rotation, and a color that had different shades depending on where the light hits it while not getting a headache, then congratulations, you're as "crazy" as I am. You're not a genius, you simply think "outside the box" in ways most cannot imagine. I'll be the first to tell you it is more of a curse than a gift! If you're like me, then you probably appreciate really bad puns and have a color for every shape and a taste for every sound. If you're just now finding this out, I'm sorry.

...

If you couldn't get past visualizing the square, then I'm sorry to say, but you're an NPC. You only "know" what you can sense, have no capacity for critical thinking, cannot fully understand the concept of variables, and likely even lack an inner monologue that allows you to form sentences without mouthing them or saying what you're thinking out loud.

There are even some people who genuinely cannot understand, let alone answer, this question: "If you didn't eat yesterday, how would that have made you feel?"

Some even turn violent after repeated attempts at getting a thoughtful response!

All is not lost, however! You just need to make sure you never, ever, go near a TV, smart phone, or any other device that involves other people telling you what is or isn't true, because you only have the capacity to believe what you've seen and so anything you see must be believed. Know your weaknesses, and probably spend some time practicing the exercise I wrote out above on the off chance your mind might evolve like a beautiful butterfly!

Now, if you realize you lack these capacities yet think it somehow makes you superior, I'm sorry to say there is no hope for you -- you're a psychopath. A psychopath cannot consider ever being wrong, and if they form all their conclusions based on senses alone, then the truth basically becomes whatever they believe, which is always a moving target (Relativism). Ultimately, someone who thinks this way believes they are the arbiter of truth, and that being the case, raise themselves to the station of Godhood due to their perceived infallibility. Stop it. Get some help.