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posted ago by DuckButter ago by DuckButter +111 / -3

I had an entire long exposé typed last night, espousing God's grace to me and I fell asleep and deleted my testimony. Doh

I've been healed from 45 yrs of PTSD! It's not PTSD...it's cPTSD. PTSD never encompassed ME. cPTSD is as if I wrote the whole signs/symptoms/sequelae myself. I not crazy. Wow. Not paranoid anymore. I've always thought everyone hated me...they dont!! I can look in a mirror again!!! (And I'm extremely handsome! 😂😂😂) I have my family back. A happy house!!!

"Complex" from lifelong trauma beginning as a child. Had no defenses in place... only trust and dependance and they were quashed. Betrayal is alln i6ve ever known...but MAN betrayed me. Not God. He held me and cried as I endured. I was never alone.

I like me now. I can leave the porch. I can go to stores. ALL of my chronic pain is gone!! No spontaneous weeping or anxiety.
The list is too lengthy.

I rarely pray for me anymore. I spend my time in PRAISE for victories, grace, patience, love and all this God has bestowed upon me...even thru the hell. Thank Him for ALLOWING you to suffer...it's the least we can do. I just pray that my feet are placed where He wants them.

Never give up! 45 yrs I waited. It was worth it all.

The last 20 yrs have been a living hell, throughout which I acted ok and just persevered in pain. I'm free.

(A special THANK YOU to Ashlanddog...he was the 1st cog in God's healing process for me. One never knows how our words are used for good for the will of God)

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, FRENS!!!

Sorry if I've been a butthole at times. Really. j