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posted ago by SpoonySmalls ago by SpoonySmalls +111 / -1

Heard some lady at the grocery store patting herself on the back, wishing herself happy Father's Day. It got me thinking about this epidemic of single motherhood and all the awesome fruit its bearing for our country. Ladies, we love ya, but you're not fathers. Period. If you were, we wouldn't have these army of children wandering thebstreets w drugs and guns in our cities. They blame the fathers for not being there causing this shit, but then claim themselves as fathers. Foolish.

Disclaimer: a father who was raised by a single mother.

Comments (47)
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treepainter 23 points ago +23 / -0

I was raised by a single mother also. She worked two jobs for 14 years to clothe and feed us. Her experience was not a good one in dealing with my father, so I didn't have a good example of a father or a husband. Eventually I found my father. My heavenly father. I at least had a chance to be a good husband.

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SpoonySmalls [S] 9 points ago +9 / -0

That last sentence. We can be all we missed and more, brother!

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RealCleanUpPhilly 17 points ago +17 / -0

10.000 upvotes. Dads are indispensable.

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cyberrigger 2 points ago +2 / -0

Single motherhood is handed to women whether they want it or not.

Single fatherhood has to work like hell to get it.

Bring back the nuclear family --- it's good for everything.

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Martha1776 15 points ago +15 / -0

Father died when I was 7, moms can NEVER replace a father. Boys and girls suffer when the father isn’t in the home. Girls raised without fathers seem to be bigger targets for pedos maybe boys as well I don’t know. They don’t understand pedos will take advantage of little girls desperate for affection only a father can provide. Speaking as a woman who was molested by her friends father and having a sister who was molested by our step father. I still feel sad sometimes seeing women who have their fathers and I’m middle aged with teenage children of my own.

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TheyWereCones 7 points ago +7 / -0

Wow sorry you went thru all that fren.

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Martha1776 6 points ago +6 / -0

Thank you, however I feel like I’m a better mom because of my trials. I know how better to protect my kids and I knew I wanted to make sure any kids I had would get a stable home with a mom and dad if at all possible. Death is out of our control, but my husband and I have a strong relationship. I am very open and straightforward with my kids depending on their age and their comfort level and I just pray I can raise good kids to become good adults and good parents and protect them from all the evil out there. My daughter has a friend who has had it pretty rough. She just lost her dad a few months ago, mom works a lot among other issues. I’ve talked with the girls about my own childhood while we hang out doing fun stuff her mom can’t do and she gets sad about it. I told her I understand but because of the things I learned or rather missed out on I better appreciate this time I have with my kids and this girl. She can some day make sure to be there for her kids

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Hope70 2 points ago +3 / -1

Fathers can physically be there but be indifferent or bad examples too.

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Martha1776 1 point ago +1 / -0

Agreed, we had a terrible step father for a few years. He was a pathological liar and I’m convinced he molested his adopted kids that he says died in a car crash (they weren’t dead). My mom was lonely for years, I don’t blame her for wanting to have a companion, she just chose poorly and tried to make it work. He exposed my brother to porn and molested my little sister. I’m pretty sure he had borderline personality disorder, glad he wasn’t around long. The best situation for any a child is a good mom and a good dad doing their best, but no one is perfect and all parents make mistakes.

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SpoonySmalls [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

True.

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SJBHamilton 11 points ago +11 / -0

Just as there are shitty moms, there are shitty dads. Not everybody who is a parent is cut out to be.

That said, THREE HURRAHS FOR GOOD DADS!

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NanaQ45 7 points ago +9 / -2

As a woman, I concur. This family instability is bullshit and us women were the fucking fools that let Marxism into the country. I hate feminists the most! Their ideas fucked my life. I volunteer to be the hang woman! Lmao!

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JonathanE 3 points ago +4 / -1

That's pretty fucking based, if you don't mind me sayin'.

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NanaQ45 2 points ago +3 / -1

Lol. Thanks bro.

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healmehealme 7 points ago +7 / -0

These parents out there doing a terrible job of raising their kids should get absolutely no credit for either Mother's or Father's Day. Single or not.

But the single parents, male or female, should totally be allowed to celebrate both days if they want to.

Some people are thrown into their positions without choice, sometimes under tragic circumstances. Their lives suddenly become infinitely harder and if they want to celebrate the fact that they're doing everything in their power to be a good parent to their children, why not let them?

Of course it can never replace having both parents, but they're trying their hardest. At least the good ones are.

This is what foundations like Big Brother should've been helping with. But if I were a single mother, I wouldn't trust that shit if you paid me to.

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KickingPugilist 4 points ago +4 / -0

Hell yeah! I wanted to say this. A single mother has to have the role of both even if she can never fulfill them both. Not that they chose it, but they have a kid to raise and now have to earn the extra income (or ALL the ince at once since many were housewives before and now have to earn liveable wages). They have to play every role, from disciplinarian, to dishing out all the advice, for daughters AND sons.

Single moms have no one to rely on for support the way 2 parent households do, of course they can never fill the void, but they damn well have to try.

Same as single fathers, which seems to be less common.

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rooftoptendie 2 points ago +2 / -0

I like to say every well-run household has a Mr Brady, a Mrs Brady, and an Alice. Any person can pick one of those jobs and do it really well. You can pick any two of those jobs and do an okay job at both. But no one person can do all three. So if you find yourself stuck in the position of having to fill all three roles in the household, you can't beat yourself up for not being able to do it perfectly. Some of the duties are going to fall by the wayside, and you have to pick what's the most important things for you to do and forgive yourself when you fall down on something.

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healmehealme 1 point ago +1 / -0

Exactly.

Just because a man isn't going to be very good at doing his young daughter's hair for school doesn't mean that he shouldn't step up and still at least attempt it if the mother isn't in the picture. All the better if he cares enough to watch tutorials on it for her.

Same for women that still try to play catch with their sons and teach them the more masculine side of things as best they can.

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Factfiler 6 points ago +6 / -0

I have worked with single moms for over 20 years. Many are doing the best they can to provide for their kids, but most are stressed, living in poverty and burned out. Yet the vast majority keep having children to different men in the hopes that this one will stay with them, but they never do. Liberals have told them for decades that they don't need a man, and that the government will take care of them. The pattern is now generational and will not change without turning back to God and the nuclear family with committed parents to raise the children. It is unbelievably tragic and sad to watch this unfold every day.

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rooftoptendie 6 points ago +7 / -1

in my experience, often times men have no motivation to provide for their kids when they can just ditch and then spend all their expendable income on themselves. For every single mother out there who's stretched so thin she hasn't bought a new bra for herself in 5 years, there's a deadbeat dad out there with a nice car who goes snowboarding every year and parties every weekend.

they act like a complete dick to the mother until she can't take it anymore and releases him from his 'responsibilities'. then they come up with all sorts of reasons to themselves why they don't have to be a father to someone else's kids so they never date women with kids... and voila, they get to be free to spend their own money on themselves for the rest of their lives.

many men don't want to be fathers. they just want to date 20 yo's until they can't attract a 20yo anymore, and then spend the rest of their lives drinking and playing drums in their own house and bashing women in their spare time because they're angry no one will date them anymore but can't admit it to themselves that they fucked up because they traded a family for material ease and a life that isn't accountable to anyone.

they all say 'she left ME, it's not my fault', but they leave out the part about how they spent so much effort passive aggressively pushing her into leaving. They want out, but they can't admit it, so they force her to go crazy until she can't take it anymore and then they don't have to consciously admit any blame.

I've seen this pattern too many times to count. So the state isn't just sending the message to WOMEN that they don't need a man, they are sending that message to MEN as well.

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Miztivin 3 points ago +3 / -0

You just described my life to a T. Thank you for that.

I tried so hard to make it work. Had 2 kids. But the guy was an alcoholic, deadbeat, cheater and passive agressive. He gets to enjoy the good life, painting himself as the vicitim while I work. Thankfully I have a great husband now.

And for the those in the back who say I should have chose better.

I wonder how many men here have crazy ex wives with kids? But thats different?

I was sexualy abused, had a really dysfunctional family, and had my first kid at 16. Which I womaned up and raised to be a fine person. Both of my kids are in fact.

They work hard, are well behaved, and well loved. Before my husband came into the picture, tho he does help tremendously. Particularly to their self esteem and other complex aspects.

Not saying fathers are indispensable. But Im not a pushover brainlet that would let my kids run rampant.

Sometimes people have it hard and shit happens. Sexual abuse is high for women. Some people have no support. Some single moms really are just in a bad position trying to make it work. And sometimes, dudes can be shitty too.

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SpoonySmalls [S] 1 point ago +2 / -1

I avoided two crazy ex wives via discernment, and had plenty of sex with both of them. And other crazies too. No pregnancies until I was ready for one. One doesn't magically just get pregnant for having sex. Especially with us whiteys it seems. Some people do suffer adversity, you are correct. In fact most of us do. That's not unique. The choices we make surrounding that are what make us different. I pray all THE CHILDREN that have had this adversity forced upon them.

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Miztivin 3 points ago +3 / -0

I am not saying I am a victim. Or I didnt choose the choices I did. Or that I am not responsible for them.

Im saying don't call us all single mothers shit for being single mothers. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes life is hard.

A lot of ppl here seem to be under the impression women are the sole person to blame for the situation and are bad people for being in that situation. No fault to the guy.

Like "all men are victims of the system and its womens fault."

Sounds like BLM and feminist..

Men have it hard but don't fall for the victim bait and blame our women. Blame the elitist. Blame the individual not taking responsibility, not the group you hate.

(Not you, just here in general)

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SpoonySmalls [S] 2 points ago +3 / -1

I hear you! I'm not saying single moms are shit, mine was amazing. I'm just saying they aren't fathers, so they shouldn't play like they are. Distinctly different roles. I have come to terms that I harbor some resentment towards both of my parents for jot working it out so that's a valid observation. . Their issue was just not getting along. No abuse or neglect so blessed there!

Not placing blame or criticism, just saying mom's are not fathers, and do acknowledge that many guys aren't either, even if they have kids.

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Factfiler 2 points ago +2 / -0

You are totally correct. However, I also see many men who aren't spending away money; they are incarcerated which leaves many moms high and dry and homeless when they go in. And then the moms move onto another guy and end up pregnant again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

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healmehealme 1 point ago +4 / -3

passive aggressively pushing her into leaving

Let's just be honest about it. They abuse and neglect her and the kids until the woman has no choice but to leave.

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rooftoptendie 3 points ago +4 / -1

I think the root issue psychologically is that these are boys who never learned how to be men, although they do want to be. But they do not understand what it entails. Then a woman comes along who's instinct is to care for loved ones, and the male sees that she wants to take care of him. So he lets her.

Then when they have kids, he can't be her proxy 'kid' anymore. She wants him to go do the man thing. And he says 'hey wait that wasn't our deal. you can't change the deal' and she's like 'well, i'm not the one telling you to change, just look at what life has turned into. we can't afford for you to go on this way, it's highly impractical.' inwardly, the male is terrified because he doesn't really know what being a man is supposed to be, as he had no or bad role model. And that fear, combined with laziness, selfishness and deep depression/anxiety, causes him to choose to give up.

No part of his conscious intellectual mind could accept the fact that he chooses to just give up, so the fact that he made that choice goes underground, and buries itself deep in his subconscious.

so he's not consciously trying to drive her away necessarily. He just becomes psychically unmovable and inaccessible, while simultaneously doing everything in his subconscious power to drive her away (so like he will be attracted to doing all the things that bring out the worst in her, and that put her under the most stress and isolation). Then on a conscious level, that allows him to comfortably blame her for being 'crazy' or 'psycho'.

This is trolling.

So the male trolls his own female, after she's given birth to his kids, due to the IMMENSE pressure they feel that they need to be a man and are totally clueless how to accomplish it.

This is a gross overgeneralization, of course this doesn't happen all the time or maybe even half the time, it's just a pattern that plays out in society over and over.

I'm often buddies with the male of this scenario... in RL, I don't bring any of this shit up with them, they already feel bad enough. They get drunk and bitch about their babymomma, and I just let them get it out of their system. Sometimes pointing out a person's flaws just isn't very helpful. There's a place and a time for that kind of thing. The always paint a picture of a psycho. But since I usually know both people in the scenario, I know that my buddy is kind of retarded, and could drive anyone psycho given enough time and proximity. Lots of them have kids and you can see them spiritually just give up the fight. They get dejected because they feel like they just can't ever provide what's needed, so they'll always get blamed. So he just lets it fall away and doesn't do much to stop it. They do this in their late 20's and early 30's and they don't start getting nervous about the choices they've made till they're like 45-50. Then they scramble fast to clean up their act and find a gf who's kids are already grown up so they can evade fatherhood forever, and the gf who's kids just left now has a proxy 'child' to take care of again and be comfortable. He can just stuff that guilt right down and pretend it doesn't exist, and feel like he's doing her a favor by letting her take care of him in their old age. It was babymomma fault! But you're totally different from her, honey. Plus, I've changed a lot.

(massive eyeroll)

But really what causes this is commies and bad economies.

(sips covfefe)

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SpoonySmalls [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Looks like you just laid out the results of epidemic. It's like a snake that eats its own tail. It's hard to be or raise a man if you didn't have one. I know this from experience. But it's doable.

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rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

i grew up during an economic boom, so I know that a big fat livable paycheck completely transforms a man. Gives him the confidence he needs to be his best self. I didn't see this pattern in relationships start to dominate the social scene until the recessions started to hit. Then I noticed the same things happen in other countries where there's economic hardship. Men get reeeaaalllly depressed when they can't make any money and there's no opportunities for them, and when men get depressed it aint pretty. Lots of alcohol abuse, lots of escapism, lots of justifications for why they're messed up.

Good jobs and good economy helps get men back up on their feet and then they stop self destructing.

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healmehealme 1 point ago +1 / -0

I think the root issue psychologically is that these are boys who never learned how to be men, although they do want to be. But they do not understand what it entails. Then a woman comes along who's instinct is to care for loved ones, and the male sees that she wants to take care of him. So he lets her.

Mm, I think you're stretching it a little bit. Yes, a woman's nature is to care for others, but that doesn't mean women want to take care of their partner as heavily as most women end up doing. For decades now, women have been complaining about having to mother their husbands. No one wants that.

But men end up getting mothered by proxy because women are essentially forced to if they want anything to get done.

And he says 'hey wait that wasn't our deal. you can't change the deal' A mature, adult male should understand that when children enter the picture, they become the priority of both parents. What you're describing is immaturity, not women reneging on a deal.

inwardly, the male is terrified because he doesn't really know what being a man is supposed to be, as he had no or bad role model. And that fear, combined with laziness, selfishness and deep depression/anxiety, causes him to choose to give up.

Sure, I agree with this, but I don't think you're laying enough blame at the hands of laziness and selfishness. I've seen plenty of young men raised by loving, attentive fathers turn out to be nothing but lazy and selfish and immature. My own father was super lazy while my Mom was pregnant with me, but once he grew up a little more, he refused to let my Mom shoulder all of the grunt work like she did while pregnant with me.

It's like something in him clicked, and a lot of younger men aren't having that 'click' occur for them.

Also, your argument kind of implies that women have all the knowledge required to become an adult innately, and that's not true. They end up just as lost and confused, but they still get pregnant and figure out how to raise children the best they can. They don't allow that fear, laziness, and selfishness to freeze them into laying all of the work at their husband's feet.

I'm often buddies with the male of this scenario...

That's actually fascinating, thank you for sharing it.

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rooftoptendie 2 points ago +2 / -0

the reason the pov sounds slightly imbalanced is because this is the side that's MISSING from the cultural psyche today. Blaming the women is quite popular, everyone already knows exactly how the women are at fault when they are at fault. i'm highlighting the other side of this issue and holding it up to illustrate how women are not more to blame than men.

> Yes, a woman's nature is to care for others, but that doesn't mean women want to take care of their partner as heavily as most women end up doing

Imagine how these relationships naturally unfold. The woman will typically seek an 'in' to his life by finding ways to take care if him, it's just female nature (or a typical and common female mindset, not across the board of course). Cook for them. Do their laundry. Pick them up from the airport. This is 'see how indespensable I am to you?' The woman seeks a way to get him to want to come back, to get him to want her to stay around.

This is at the beginning part of a relationship. Of course women don't want to be mens mommies. But that's on an intellectual level for the woman, and happens when she's under strain. However on a biological level (that she can consciously deny if she wants), she wants to be a mommy. So when starts mommying people, it's fulfilling a biological urge for her. But then she finds herself responsible for people who should be responsible for themselves and she thinks 'I don't want to be your mommy', when in fact yes she does. She is unaware of her own subconscious drives. Having actual kids would solve this for her, but women wait a very long time to have kids in an economically depressed society. Women who get too old without having kids get a little bit mental. And that's true for more animals than just humans.

This creates relationships destined to fail. A woman should not be looking for a man who needs a mommy. that's the complete wrong way to go looking for a man, but that's the other side of this messed up coin.

A man should not be letting a woman mommy him in order to gain affection. But since someone with no/bad role model and maybe a crappy role model for a mom also, doesn't understand that this is an unhealthy way of garnering attention, he allows it.

Again, not the fault of one or the other sex... just a pattern that emerges in broken families and encouraged by commie culture at large.

I get annoyed with people who don't see that none of this is the fault of any single sex. So like there's a comment in this thread that's like 'keep your legs closed' and that's so crude and out of left field when the opposite side to that is 'losers keep your dick in your pants, manwhores.' Yet you don't generally see MAGAwomen regularly expressing this sentiment, let alone in such a crude way. It's energy that crops up on redpilled sites sometimes this whole idea that degenerate commie sluts are to blame for the ills of society. And that's like wtf are you even talking about. Most of my buddies ended up with kids they now have no custody over. How in those situations did it happen? Did those single moms end up that way because they are degenerate sluts? Well, sometimes it happens. But with the people I know, it was due to the fact that the man was man enough to fuck but not man enough to deal with what happens after. Here is the pregnant woman, willing to make a go of it... and the man completely ruins it by acting like a total dick to ONLY her (not us buddies... just her), coming home drunk constantly, and spending more energy self-destructing than working on a future income.

Some of my buddies really tried at first to make it work, and lasted a few years. But the pressure got to be too much for them and they gave up. In a few instances, the chick ruined it with infidelity. there's only one chick I know who purposely slept around like a 'whore' and she did it on purpose because she was 33 and couldn't land a man, but really REALLY wanted kids and her biological clock was going crazy. She was looking for single motherhood. So this slutty whore who can't keep her legs closed who is breaking nuclear families, I'm sure she exists but I don't usually see that in broken family situations. I see things like alcohol, depression, loss of perceived identity, and selfishness (selfishness on both sides).

On an extremely overgeneralized level, men lose their living wages, and it drives them to drink, and that kills families. Women must settle for making their own families because the men refuse to participate since they don't have the income to make it work.

In this sense, everyone should be learning how to be a family and stay together through thick and thin from Mexicans.

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healmehealme 4 points ago +4 / -0

Largely agree but blaming only the liberals is misguided. Too many men have become weak and selfish and refuse to stand up and participate in parenthood when they accidentally get a woman pregnant.

Many of the people in this forum shun those that get abortions and call them murderers, but then when they do the right thing and keep the baby even though the father makes it clear he'll abandon them, they're wrong for that too?

Going on to have more children is definitely stupid though.

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Honor+Duty 5 points ago +5 / -0

I bet her kids are “out of control”

Moms are great at unconditional love Dads are great at inspiring kids to be their best.

One without the other leaves the kid pretty messed up.

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Taitersalad 5 points ago +5 / -0

It's an epidemic

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cyberrigger 2 points ago +2 / -0

The laws encourage it.

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ifififififokiedokie 4 points ago +6 / -2

There’s no such thing as “single mothers”. There are windows and divorced and separated parents. That pussy didn’t cum in itself.

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JonathanE 3 points ago +3 / -0

Crude, but accurate.

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healmehealme 0 points ago +2 / -2

That makes no sense. A woman doesn't count as single if the father of the child is no longer in the picture? If she does, how does that NOT make her a single mother?

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ifififififokiedokie 2 points ago +2 / -0

WHAT I mean is a lot of single women who are mothers seem to act like there never was a man, and surely there is no need for one.

There are single women who are mothers. There are windows, and separated parents. But there has never been a “single mother” since the bible.

Fuck that. Men play an important role in family life.

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healmehealme 0 points ago +1 / -1

If the woman is single then the man is not playing an important role in family life though.

If it's not simply a matter of the woman being a POS, then maybe there's a reason she's acting like the man doesn't matter. Maybe he was abusive, or cheated, or abandoned his family. Why try to give a man like that credit?

A REAL man that stays with his family absolutely plays an important role in family life.

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ifififififokiedokie 1 point ago +1 / -0

Single woman who is a mother. The term “single mother” is not possible and implies virgin birth.

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makemyday007 4 points ago +5 / -1

What needs to change is the government encouraging single women by giving them handouts. I have known women who won’t get married because they loose their free money. Then they live with the father of the kid till someone realizes they are not committed to each other legally.

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JonathanE 4 points ago +4 / -0

Considering what an arsehole my father was, I'm glad he fucked off when I was 11, but you're right, my mother wasn't a father figure - she was a steel magnolia.

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BetterNameUnfound 3 points ago +4 / -1

A single mother can be forgiven if she's a widow. That is a tragedy we should not hold against her.

The rest, however...

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Uncle_Fester 2 points ago +3 / -1

Would it even be possible to turn these children into something better, given their mother thinks she is the father (is there some sort of trans-daddy or mommy identification here?).

With that kind of disadvantage, plus everything else wrong in their life, could a mentor of moral courage, rectitude and resourcefulness have a chance to create a branching off point in a child's life path?

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Hope70 1 point ago +2 / -1

These women put themselves in their positions: hooking up with losers who were there for one reason-convenient sex, men who were children who refused to accept responsibility for their actions, and you and baby daddy who didn’t use birth control.

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ImBillCurtis 1 point ago +4 / -3

Keep your legs shut and you won’t have to worry about that rotator cuff surgery you’ll need from patting yourself on the back on Father’s Day.