Heard some lady at the grocery store patting herself on the back, wishing herself happy Father's Day. It got me thinking about this epidemic of single motherhood and all the awesome fruit its bearing for our country. Ladies, we love ya, but you're not fathers. Period. If you were, we wouldn't have these army of children wandering thebstreets w drugs and guns in our cities. They blame the fathers for not being there causing this shit, but then claim themselves as fathers. Foolish.
Disclaimer: a father who was raised by a single mother.
You just described my life to a T. Thank you for that.
I tried so hard to make it work. Had 2 kids. But the guy was an alcoholic, deadbeat, cheater and passive agressive. He gets to enjoy the good life, painting himself as the vicitim while I work. Thankfully I have a great husband now.
And for the those in the back who say I should have chose better.
I wonder how many men here have crazy ex wives with kids? But thats different?
I was sexualy abused, had a really dysfunctional family, and had my first kid at 16. Which I womaned up and raised to be a fine person. Both of my kids are in fact.
They work hard, are well behaved, and well loved. Before my husband came into the picture, tho he does help tremendously. Particularly to their self esteem and other complex aspects.
Not saying fathers are indispensable. But Im not a pushover brainlet that would let my kids run rampant.
Sometimes people have it hard and shit happens. Sexual abuse is high for women. Some people have no support. Some single moms really are just in a bad position trying to make it work. And sometimes, dudes can be shitty too.
I avoided two crazy ex wives via discernment, and had plenty of sex with both of them. And other crazies too. No pregnancies until I was ready for one. One doesn't magically just get pregnant for having sex. Especially with us whiteys it seems. Some people do suffer adversity, you are correct. In fact most of us do. That's not unique. The choices we make surrounding that are what make us different. I pray all THE CHILDREN that have had this adversity forced upon them.
I am not saying I am a victim. Or I didnt choose the choices I did. Or that I am not responsible for them.
Im saying don't call us all single mothers shit for being single mothers. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes life is hard.
A lot of ppl here seem to be under the impression women are the sole person to blame for the situation and are bad people for being in that situation. No fault to the guy.
Like "all men are victims of the system and its womens fault."
Sounds like BLM and feminist..
Men have it hard but don't fall for the victim bait and blame our women. Blame the elitist. Blame the individual not taking responsibility, not the group you hate.
(Not you, just here in general)
I hear you! I'm not saying single moms are shit, mine was amazing. I'm just saying they aren't fathers, so they shouldn't play like they are. Distinctly different roles. I have come to terms that I harbor some resentment towards both of my parents for jot working it out so that's a valid observation. . Their issue was just not getting along. No abuse or neglect so blessed there!
Not placing blame or criticism, just saying mom's are not fathers, and do acknowledge that many guys aren't either, even if they have kids.
You are totally correct. However, I also see many men who aren't spending away money; they are incarcerated which leaves many moms high and dry and homeless when they go in. And then the moms move onto another guy and end up pregnant again. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Let's just be honest about it. They abuse and neglect her and the kids until the woman has no choice but to leave.
Looks like you just laid out the results of epidemic. It's like a snake that eats its own tail. It's hard to be or raise a man if you didn't have one. I know this from experience. But it's doable.
Mm, I think you're stretching it a little bit. Yes, a woman's nature is to care for others, but that doesn't mean women want to take care of their partner as heavily as most women end up doing. For decades now, women have been complaining about having to mother their husbands. No one wants that.
But men end up getting mothered by proxy because women are essentially forced to if they want anything to get done.
Sure, I agree with this, but I don't think you're laying enough blame at the hands of laziness and selfishness. I've seen plenty of young men raised by loving, attentive fathers turn out to be nothing but lazy and selfish and immature. My own father was super lazy while my Mom was pregnant with me, but once he grew up a little more, he refused to let my Mom shoulder all of the grunt work like she did while pregnant with me.
It's like something in him clicked, and a lot of younger men aren't having that 'click' occur for them.
Also, your argument kind of implies that women have all the knowledge required to become an adult innately, and that's not true. They end up just as lost and confused, but they still get pregnant and figure out how to raise children the best they can. They don't allow that fear, laziness, and selfishness to freeze them into laying all of the work at their husband's feet.
That's actually fascinating, thank you for sharing it.