1 Experts Believe Russia Low On Soldiers After Putin Spotted Trying To Teach A Polar Bear How To Drive A Tank
2 Eight Ways Besides Heartbeats That Women Are Tricked Into Thinking Babies Are Alive
3 In Continued Push For Gender Neutrality, Air Force Removes All Flight Sticks From Planes
4 Dad Empties Dishwasher So He Has An Excuse To Watch 19 Hours Of Football This Weekend
5 Jean-Pierre Clarifies That Official White House Policy Is The Opposite Of Whatever Biden Says In Interviews
6 Spirit Airlines Introduces New Bargain Flight Where They Just Launch You In A Medieval Catapult
7 Wife Carefully Selects Perfect Fall Mums To Kill
https://babylonbee.com/news/wife-carefully-selects-perfect-fall-mums-to-kill
8 I Would Like Your Undivided Attention Please - WAIT WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME I WILL LITERALLY STAB YOU IN THE THROAT - An Op-Ed By Your Cat
9 Disney Chooses Bald Actress To Play Rapunzel In Live-Action Remake
https://babylonbee.com/news/disney-chooses-bald-actress-to-play-rapunzel-in-live-action-remake
10 White House Staff To Fit Joe Biden With A Jingle Bell Collar So They Can Find Him When He Wanders Off
...Don't Worry...
...Bee Happy...
The Rapunzel one made me laugh. With the way things are going, I wouldn't be surprised to see them hire Jada Pinkett Smith to play Rapunzel. They could put in a shameless plug for alopecia medicine as she slathers cream on her raggedy scalp while singing an advertising jingle. Or, perhaps Flynn could be her true savior, climbing the tower while holding a jar of alopecia cream. The magical cream could instantly grow Rapunzel's hair so they can both climb down to escape her evil step mother who voted for King Trump in the last royal election.
...delightful send up...