Your mere posting this info suggests you're asking for feedback (help). I take it from what you wrote with the "(ab)use" term you used, you don't believe it's that bad right now. Somewhere in between? Today you may have good health, but then all of a sudden it tends to turn against you.

It's ironic, my wife had problems with alcohol and it was often accompanied with MJ. She worked out and was in good health, but then one day it suddenly turned on her. The morning after, she had an 'event' on the freeway. I think they call it a relapse. It freaked her out because she lost feeling in her hands and legs. She was fortunate to pull over and call for help. A paramedic truck was the first to respond and they protected her from the police. She could have been arrested for having a relapse, but the paramedic commanded the situation and brought her to a detox facility. This is when I first learned of it. She recovered from her 'event', but if that police officer learned of her condition, she would have most certainly lost her job. A very good job too. She too, believed in Jesus the way you do. And like you, she wasn't ready for Him. At the detox hospital, they told her about Alcohol Anonymous and gave her a phone number to call. At first, she didn't call. It was my urging her to do so, she finally decided to at least give them a call and find out more. That initial phone call turned her life completely around. She has been a dedicated member for over 5 years now. She leads a group and has helped many other women and men in those 5 years. Her mentor and best friend is also a former alcohol and drug abuser. My wife learned that alcohol and drugs are an actual barrier to learning the truth about Jesus. AA is a place for people banding together. All having very similar problems. There's far more people like you who are members and they come from all walks of life. You'd be amazed. From that commitment she made to cease polluting her body, a yearning grows in understanding the Creator and the power within you. Alcohol masks all of this. There's a very good reason why alcohol is referred to as 'spirits". This is why so many AA members become Christians. Their growing faith strengthens them.