5:00 AM Siri: "Good morning Tim, time to rise. You have 10,000 Carbon Credits added to your account. I can send a portion to one of the following charities A. John Hopkins Center for Children's Transition, B. The Democratic People Party of America Reelection of our dear leader Joe Biden, C. Euthanasia of Undesirables Sponsorship Fund.", "Please state how much you wish to give and which category you choose. Suggested giving amounts are 1,000, 2,000, or 5,000 C.C.", "Those donating at the 5,000 level or above will be entered into the 1,000,000 C.C. Lottery.

5:05 AM Tim: "Siri turn on coffee pot and shower"

5:05:05 AM Siri: " Tim if you would like you can save 10 C.C. by drinking your coffee at room temperature, and save 20 C.C. per minute by taking your shower with cold water only." ,"Reminder showers are 2 minutes long, extra time costs double C.C."

5:07:06 AM Tim: "Siri I want toast, eggs, and bacon for breakfast"

5:07:09 AM Siri: " Tim our dear leader has turned toasters off due to Global temperatures increasing over the summer", 'It's also suggested that you cook your bacon and eggs on the tarmac, this is the carbon free preferred cooking method", "Your health App reports you only took 10,000 steps yesterday, to negate the impact to today's C.C. Please make an additional 10,000 Steps today.", "To aid your efforts, your car was not allowed to charge"