When I was in college, a girl in my general orbit (friends, friends of friends, acquaintances, classmates, etc.) was “getting mugged” every week. She lived a commuter train ride away in a dicey area, so it was plausible, but after the third time, I said to myself that some guy in her life (boyfriend? father? brother?) was beating her up. It continued. I expressed my beliefs to some people in my circle. I was instantly and universally shot down, ridiculed, and scorned for having this belief. I shrugged my shoulders and kept my mouth shut. This girl kept showing up to school with black eyes, her arm in a cast, etc. Everyone bemoaned her terrible luck, asked her to try to get home during daylight hours, etc. Me: hmmm....that won’t make any difference. Eventually, she disappeared. A year went by, and she reappeared. She spilled the story that her boyfriend had been pummeling her. She fled after a particularly brutal beating and had to go into hiding. When she felt safe enough she registered for school again and was no longer keeping secrets. Reaction of the crowd: OMG can you believe it????? Me: WTF. Do you think anyone said something along the lines of “you were right all along!” to me? Nope. No one did. I could see it, plain as day. No one else, nobody, could see what was right in front of them. I think about that a lot now. I know all those people got jabbed. It’s a blessing and a curse to be able to see what no one else can. In this case it’s keeping me alive. As always, people mostly resist and reject my (very seldom offered) opinions.
I wonder why people so consistently reject you out of hand. Is there something in your general bearing that makes people feel like you expect to be held in authority and will be resentful if disappointed in them? I only ask because I've seen this happen to a guy before. People want to be appreciated. It's natural. And we are social animals. We want to feel like we matter and make a difference to our peers.But this guy creeped people out, especially the ladies because he was always doing something on their behalf, and then feeling entitled to some reaction. People could see right through it the older he got. Anyway, long story longer he finally managed to wrangle enough self esteem out of real relationships that he just kinda relaxed eventually and became less toxic to be around and what do you know, but now he's got a beautiful family and real respect. It can happen for you if you just keep up the love for your fellow man. NCSWIC anon. So relax. This is an incredible life!
When I was in college, a girl in my general orbit (friends, friends of friends, acquaintances, classmates, etc.) was “getting mugged” every week. She lived a commuter train ride away in a dicey area, so it was plausible, but after the third time, I said to myself that some guy in her life (boyfriend? father? brother?) was beating her up. It continued. I expressed my beliefs to some people in my circle. I was instantly and universally shot down, ridiculed, and scorned for having this belief. I shrugged my shoulders and kept my mouth shut. This girl kept showing up to school with black eyes, her arm in a cast, etc. Everyone bemoaned her terrible luck, asked her to try to get home during daylight hours, etc. Me: hmmm....that won’t make any difference. Eventually, she disappeared. A year went by, and she reappeared. She spilled the story that her boyfriend had been pummeling her. She fled after a particularly brutal beating and had to go into hiding. When she felt safe enough she registered for school again and was no longer keeping secrets. Reaction of the crowd: OMG can you believe it????? Me: WTF. Do you think anyone said something along the lines of “you were right all along!” to me? Nope. No one did. I could see it, plain as day. No one else, nobody, could see what was right in front of them. I think about that a lot now. I know all those people got jabbed. It’s a blessing and a curse to be able to see what no one else can. In this case it’s keeping me alive. As always, people mostly resist and reject my (very seldom offered) opinions.
I wonder why people so consistently reject you out of hand. Is there something in your general bearing that makes people feel like you expect to be held in authority and will be resentful if disappointed in them? I only ask because I've seen this happen to a guy before. People want to be appreciated. It's natural. And we are social animals. We want to feel like we matter and make a difference to our peers.But this guy creeped people out, especially the ladies because he was always doing something on their behalf, and then feeling entitled to some reaction. People could see right through it the older he got. Anyway, long story longer he finally managed to wrangle enough self esteem out of real relationships that he just kinda relaxed eventually and became less toxic to be around and what do you know, but now he's got a beautiful family and real respect. It can happen for you if you just keep up the love for your fellow man. NCSWIC anon. So relax. This is an incredible life!