So I haven't been on much the past year/year and a half. I've had a massive amount of personal issues. The past few weeks I've been trying to distance myself from all the trouble, so GAW has been a great source of community for me. I don't post much, but I read and feel like you guys are my friends and telling me the latest I've missed out on. But it seems no matter how much I try to move on from my issues, they follow me. I found out my partner of 10 years was cheating on me for the last 2 that I was with him, and so I packed up and moved to another state. I found someone else I thought cared about me but that didn't work out so well either. I'm pretty much getting it from all angles. Financial problems too and I have a 4 year old daughter. I seemed to have made just a giant mess of my life, and no matter where I turn, I can't seem to fix it. I've been praying to God with my whole heart for months. Crying out to Him with tears in my heart and running down my face, and I get no answers. I'm really trying to stay strong for my little girl and strong in Him and I try to turn to Him but I seem to just be going in the same nauseating circle with no end.
Any prayers at all you guys can throw my way would be greatly appreciated. I am also aware that there are people on this board with bigger problems than mine, and in no way am I trying to downplay that or make out that my problems are more important. So please pray for them first, and if you have time please try to remember me. I just feel so alone and helpless.
God bless you all, frens. WWG1WGA
Not sure why I feel so strongly to share this. I have learned to follow those gut instincts. Something I did when looking for the right spouse was to create a list of things that would show me they were what I really wanted.
1- Was a member of the church with religious views I hold dear. This prevented the arguments I have had in the past.
2- They needed to own a home OR have runs a profitable business for at least 5 years. Not so that I could just move in, but to show me they really knew how to be financially responsible.
3- A virgin, I needed to know they weren't going to go out looking for physical pleasure somewhere else. (I already had children that needed a stable partner & had way too many women in my life trying whom had believed sex=love). I know I may have missed out on many great women, though I needed to know that my children would not go through another divorce & that my choice would be different than in my past. Also makes it harder to give up & flit towards divorce.
4- They needed to be gainfully employed so I knew that they understood the value of hard work.
There was another I cannot recall now, though it was derived from one of the others.
End of the day, I was incredibly blessed with a beautiful woman whom loves the Lord with all their heart & is the biggest blessing I have ever been given. Looks are wonderful, but I needed the core issues from previous "distressed damsels" I was trying to save to be resolved, this required massive changes to my filter in whom I chose to consider. Until they came along, I just let God lead me every day. It will be okay fren. God has this.