Oh boy... would you just look at the time?

Guess it's time to outlaw steak knives...

1. Gotta keep everyone "safe"
2. You'll need to register your steak knives each year
3. You'll have to pay the yearly registration/tax each year
4. You'll be limited by the number of steak knives you can own and only be permitted to purchase ONE, once every 31 days, AFTER the local police station has sent approval.
5. The steak knives must be in a safe, kept far away from children.
6. it's unlawful to transport steak knives, unless they are under lock and key, out of reach of the motor vehicle operator.
7. Properly licensed knives are permitted at home and your place of business, but nowhere else. If using them in a professional capacity, you must go directly to and from said business, and stop nowhere else in between.
8. Knives must meet approved length specifications. They cannot be too long or short.