I'm right there with ya. I recently got off SSRI meds after over two decades of abuse by the medical system. I got chewed up, spit out, and now I'm a wreck that has to rebuild his life and hope that the lasting side effects eventually fade.
I would be lost right now if it weren't for my loving mother and family. I know a lot of people are struggling with similar problems and they don't have a support system. I just wanted to reach out to these folks and let them know that they're not alone.
Things are rough right now, but we will get through this together! We were chosen for this battle, that's why we have the sharpest swords and the thickest armor.
I love all of you beautiful humans! God bless every single one of you!
Saffron is proven to work for depression and anxiety, but without the side effects. I can personally attest to its effectiveness. 8 to 9 strands into your morning coffee. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inner-source/201601/saffron-emotional-health
I was where you are. Shelf full of failed pharmaceuticals and my life in tatters. I fired the quack psychiatrist, because he obviously had done more damage than help.
Experimented with several remedies and ran into a study on Saffron for depression. It was a game changer.
Just watch for fakes. Saffron is deep red and trumpet shaped. Drop a strand into hot water and the dye is yellow.
On extra rough days, rhodiala can pull you out of the slump.
The best part, no zombie feeling. You will still have your full range of emotions.
I have some saffron in my spice collection so I'm gonna start using it today. Funny that you mentioned the zombie feeling. I was drugged into apathy for so long that I'm having trouble actually experiencing full emotions again! Being able to properly feel and express emotions for the first time in my adult life is jarring.
"Zombie feeling". I never put it that way, but that is accurate. Back in the mid 1990s when I had my two kids both times the doctor put me on Zoloft for post partum. Both times I took it for about 10 days and then stopped, telling the doctor: "I would rather feel like shit than feel nothing." Watched my stepdaughter go through that after her first baby and then was so happy to see her refuse any antidepressants after her other three babies. She had experienced that same "zombie feeling" and was not okay with it either. Generally speaking, the medical system is a meat grinder. Wise to avoid it if you can. And if you can't, make sure you have people with you to guard you.
God bless you. I pray that you will return to full emotional range with joy and gratitude abounding in your perception of life. Even when things are dark, we live in a world full of beauty; sometimes we just have to look for it. :)