It’s not spiritually healthy for you to hold onto those feelings but the person should be held accountable and kept away from all children forever. I was molested as a child by a friend’s dad, I don’t hate him, I don’t blame my mom. It caused a lot of shame for me, a lot of self esteem issues, lots of counseling I have worked very hard to protect my own children, and I would never forgive myself if they were abused. I don’t blame you, I’m curious if the mom is trying to be forgiving or if she doesn’t care. I would feel like a failure as a parent for not protecting my kids largely in part because of what happened to me.