The easiest, and hardest, drink to avoid is the first one.

Also, my partner and I (16 years sober, but we did have a problem) discovered some serendipitous, angelic help. I cannot remember the video that described it, but it goes something like this:

It is no use saying to yourself that you are not allowed to drink. The way our brain works, the drinking is associated with good times, relaxation, happiness even patriotism and Americana- just as it is advertised ALL THE TIME. This is centered right in the middle of our brain, in the most ancient part, and is associated with dopamine for survival- i.e. scoring a pile of edible berries and storing them in the back of the cave - YAY.

Saying that you will not partake, is like telling a three year old he is not allowed to open a cookie jar that is placed on the floor.

Furthermore, the stuff is everywhere, even in the supermarket, when one is trying to innocently buy food. Buying replacement alcohol i.e. sparkling water or zero alcohol beer, also doesn't really work - although sparkling water is good if you are thirsty! Also, a water-filter is important, because we found we were buying beer just to avoid the tap-water, which tasted like ass.

So we need an instant hack, to train the reptilian brain that keeps on saying - "ah the heck with it, I am treating myself, just this once!" - The reptilian brain only ever connects alcohol with pleasure - never the pain that comes afterwards, because it is not intelligent enough to make that longer-term connection: It is a dumb reptile. That hack needs to happen at the purchase point, or when it is offered to you.

So instead of anxiously rushing past the wine/beer shelf in the supermarket, or avoiding all social contact - pause. Tell yourself: It's OK to look at this stand, I am an adult. It is even OK to consider buying or drinking some. This disestablishes the NO coming from the mental/cognitive part of your brain.

BUT, before I buy some, or fill a glass, or sip some, I must remember the worst, spinning drunk, hugging-the-toilet-bowl, accident/injury, broken relationship, lying in the street, jail-cell that happened to me. And I mean really visualize it - right there. Shut your eyes a moment. This part is where you are training that avaricious pleasure-seeker to experience the pain you suffered in your other self.

I guarantee that the reptilian brain will recoil, and you will want to walk away.

The easiest, and hardest, drink to avoid is the first one.

Also, my partner and I discovered some serendipitous, angelic help. I cannot remember the video that described it, but it goes something like this:

It is no use saying to yourself that you are not allowed to drink. The way our brain works, the drinking is associated with good times, relaxation, happiness even patriotism and Americana- just as it is advertised ALL THE TIME. This is centered right in the middle of our brain, in the most ancient part, and is associated with dopamine for survival- i.e. scoring a pile of edible berries and storing them in the back of the cave - YAY.

Saying that you will not partake, is like telling a three year old he is not allowed to open a cookie jar that is placed on the floor.

Furthermore, the stuff is everywhere, even in the supermarket, when one is trying to innocently buy food. Buying replacement alcohol i.e. sparkling water or zero alcohol beer, also doesn't really work.

So we need an instant hack, to train the reptilian brain that keeps on saying - "ah the heck with it, I am treating myself, just this once!" - The reptilian brain only connects alcohol with pleasure - never the pain that comes afterwards, because it is not intelligent enough to make that longer term connection. That hack needs to happen at the purchase point, or when it is offered to you.

So instead of anxiously rushing past the wine/beer shelf in the supermarket, or avoiding all social contact - pause. Tell yourself: It's OK to look at this stand, I am an adult. It is even OK to consider buying or drinking some. This disestablishes the NO coming from the mental/cognitive part of your brain.

BUT, before I buy some, or fill a glass, or sip some, I must remember the worst, spinning drunk, hugging-the-toilet-bowl, accident/injury, broken relationship, lying in the street, that happened to me. And I mean really visualize it - right there. Shut your eyes a moment. This part is where you are training that avaricious pleasure-seeker to experience the pain you suffered in your other self.

I guarantee that the reptilian brain will recoil, and you will want to walk away.