Caveat: I know nothing other than what you wrote above. I am going solely with my gut on how I am feeling from reading it.

Please tell me, she did return, right?  Leaving with just a swimsuit on, no phone... could have been a potential suicide attempt that she thought about, but changed her mind about.   She left her phone because she wanted you to notice.  She wanted you to realize just how distressed she is and hoped you would see the evidence and come to her rescue.

But you didn't... 

You said this: 
> "Where'd she go? Who knows? I didn't ask.  I don't care and asking just shows clinginess."

This may be the issue right there.  She may very much want you to ask her where she went.  She may very much need you to tell her YOU NEED HER and that YOU DO CARE.  She is grieving. Not for the man who died, but for the love/connection she once had with him before it turned bad and maybe also is missing it in her relationship with you.  Think about why your current relationship with her no longer has demonstrable love, passion or connection.  This is what she is missing deeply. 

Ask yourself, why don't you care where she went and why she left only in a swimsuit and left her phone behind?  Truly, why don't you care?

If you love her and want her, you must tell her so and make efforts to hold her and be loving to her until she sees that it is in fact YOU and YOUR love that she is missing and grieving for and, you are not gone and are there FOR HER and have not left her and DO LOVE HER.

Good luck.

Caveat: I know nothing other than what you wrote above. I am going solely with my gut on how I am feeling from reading it.

Please tell me, she did return, right?  Leaving with just a swimsuit on, no phone... could have been a potential suicide attempt that she thought about, but changed her mind about.   She left her phone because she wanted you to notice.  She wanted you to realize just how distressed she is and hoped you would see the evidence and come to her rescue.

But you didn't... 

You said this: 
> "Where'd she go? Who knows? I didn't ask.  I don't care and asking just shows clinginess."

This may be the issue right there.  She may very much want you to ask her where she went.  She may very much need you to tell her YOU NEED HER and that YOU DO CARE.  She is grieving. Not for the man who died, but for the love/connection she once had with him before it turned bad and maybe also is missing it in her relationship with you.  Think about why your current relationship with her no longer has demonstrable love, passion or connection.  This is what she is missing deeply. 

Ask yourself, why don't you care where she went and why she left only in a swimsuit and left her phone behind?  Truly, why don't you care?

**If you love her and want her, you must tell her so and make efforts to hold her and be loving to her until she sees that it is in fact YOU and YOUR love that she is missing and grieving for** and, you are not gone and are there FOR HER and have not left her and DO LOVE HER.

Good luck.

Caveat: I know nothing other than what you wrote above. I am going solely with my gut on how I am feeling from reading it.

Please tell me, she did return, right?  Leaving with just a swimsuit on, no phone... could have been a potential suicide attempt that she thought about, but changed her mind about.   She left her phone because she wanted you to notice.  She wanted you to realize just how distressed she is and hoped you would see the evidence and come to her rescue.

But you didn't... 

You said this: *"Where'd she go? Who knows? I didn't ask.  I don't care and asking just shows clinginess."*

This may be the issue right there.  She may very much want you to ask her where she went.  She may very much need you to tell her YOU NEED HER and that YOU DO CARE.  She is grieving. Not for the man who died, but for the love/connection she once had with him before it turned bad and maybe also is missing it in her relationship with you.  Think about why your current relationship with her no longer has demonstrable love, passion or connection.  This is what she is missing deeply. 

Ask yourself, why don't you care where she went and why she left only in a swimsuit and left her phone behind?  Truly, why don't you care?

**If you love her and want her, you must tell her so and make efforts to hold her and be loving to her until she sees that it is in fact YOU and YOUR love that she is missing and grieving for** and, you are not gone and are there FOR HER and have not left her and DO LOVE HER.

Good luck.