After reading all the comments, well, I’m seeing a lot about her behavior, I’m also seeing you tried the gray rock method. The phone situation is puzzling, it could be she has already consulted with an atty and if so advice was given to her to basically keep you out of her things, this includes financially. I suspect she is probably also recording your conversations. As a woman who has been married 12 years I can say that marriage is never an easy thing, it takes commitment, it takes patience, it takes kindness. And that mind sound easy but it’s not. Nothing is easy in marriage, especially when you are constantly struggling in this world. I believe your wife is missing something. Have you ever sincerely looked at your behavior, your lack of wants from her? Somewhere there is something missing, it could be emotional, spiritual, physical. Or a combination of all 3. You don’t go 10 years with someone and then just say “well, I don’t love you anymore”. Are there days I don’t love my husband? Sure, you bet! We have had months of not getting along, but in the end, we still drop our egos and admit we have been completely disrespectful and disregarded our needs as a WHOLE body. The root to finding out if you are BOTH willing to make this work is sitting down and having an honest conversation. Ask her, where am I failing you? Where am I failing US? Your wife needs to understand this doesn’t have to be a brick wall, you have successfully torn down what you built, together, doesn’t matter if you believe it’s all her, you play as much a part as her. You need to find out the root. If she gets angry don’t react with anger back, tell her you love her and you need clarification and if she doesn’t want to talk and open up then you tell her you will wait until she is ready. Never go straight to divorce talk, it immediately sets a barrier. Switch your talk to, I want to work through this, I believe in us, I want to help US. Women hold a lot of emotions inside, we have tremendous responsibility, just cause she doesn’t work for mean she doesn’t have stress out the wazoo. Fight and make up, fight and make up. Do it without ego, realize she is half of YOUR body. Fight like hell to get her back before you take advice to leave her. Editing not to fix my typos but to suggest you seek counseling, at least for yourself. It can be very helpful, especially when you have NO ONE to vent and consult with. You need an outlet, a way to have someone gauge your emotions. I proudly go to counseling, it helps ME be a better mom, wife, and most importantly validates my feelings. You need some validating but also some guidance on how to deal with the transference. Which everyone has, it’s when your emotions are transferred from yourself onto others, often you will not realize it. Woman are empathy naturally, whatever emotions you carry your wife is naturally picking up and while your frustrations, anger, and sadness might not even be directed at her, she herself will feel it and believe they are meant for her, if she has any bit of narc in her this can make her go through the discard stages. Research it, find a therapist, do it for yourself. Despite the outcomes keep working on YOU.

After reading all the comments, well, I’m seeing a lot about her behavior, I’m also seeing you tried the gray rock method. The phone situation is puzzling, it could be she has already consulted with an atty and if so advice was given to her to basically keep you out of her things, this includes financially. I suspect she is probably also recording your conversations. As a woman who has been married 12 years I can say that marriage is never an easy thing, it takes commitment, it takes patience, it takes kindness. And that mind sound easy but it’s not. Nothing is easy in marriage, especially when you are constantly struggling in this world. I believe your wife is missing something. Have you ever sincerely looked at your behavior, your lack of wants from her? Somewhere there is something missing, it could be emotional, spiritual, physical. Or a combination of all 3. You don’t go 10 years with someone and then just say “well, I don’t love you anymore”. Are there days I don’t love my husband? Sure, you bet! We have had months of not getting along, but in the end, we still drop our egos and admit we have been completely disrespectful and disregarded our needs as a WHOLE body. The root to finding out if you are BOTH willing to make this work is sitting down and having an honest conversation. Ask her, where am I failing you? Where am I failing US? Your wife needs to understand this doesn’t have to be a brick wall, you have successfully torn down what you built, together, doesn’t matter if you believe it’s all her, you play as much a part as her. You need to find out the root. If she gets angry don’t react with anger back, tell her you love her and you need clarification and if she doesn’t want to talk and open up then you tell her you will wait until she is ready. Never go straight to divorce talk, it immediately sets a barrier. Switch your talk to, I want to work through this, I believe in us, I want to help US. Women hold a lot of emotions inside, we have tremendous responsibility, just cause she doesn’t work for mean she doesn’t have stress out the wazoo. Fight and make up, fight and make up. Do it without ego, realize she is half of YOUR body. Fight like hell to get her back before you take advice to leave her.