Possible dog comms?
(media.greatawakening.win)
Comments (10)
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Look how much money he saved thanks to Biden’s $0.16.
Lmao. Imagine if they really had to send a message and they actually needed some guy to eat this many hotdogs.
"We're gonna need to call in a favour from Joey."
"Who?"
"Joey Chestnut."
"You don't mean Joey "hotdog" Chestnut?"
"He's the only one who can eat precisely this many hotdogs. We don't have another guy."
"Surely there's another way to-"
"He can take it. The man's been training his entire competitive hotdog-eating life for this."
He hadn't quite retired yet, but had settled for defending his title by coasting to victory with a modest 55 hot dogs...until one day in mid-February came a knock upon his door.
Enter three men in sunglasses and suits.
"Joey. We need you to beat your record."
"What? No. No one can beat 75 dogs. I've made my mark on history!"
"It's not about the records or the brats! It's about the message! The people need you!"
"But I - I don't know if I have it in me. My record beating days are behind m-"
"Joey. You need to do this. If not for you...Do it for America."
-a single tear rolls down his cheek as he salutes the men, wraps an American flag around his shoulders like a cape and marches down to his basement-
Kenny Loggins plays
We forgot to add the line "but I thought he retired" in there somewhere.
I know! hahaha I was trying to think of how to work that in but he never retired, mf just keeps setting records apparently! XD
Bahaha. I've got it.
"The man is a Ioosecannon. Last I heard, two of his men were coughing up schnitzels for a week."
"That may be so, but he's the best we've got. Not even Kobayashi can touch him. The man's a genius at what he does."
"Look. I'm not doubting you. But isn't he retired?"
"He may have given up the badge but he never gave up his oath. Never quit training a single day. If we call, he'll answer. He's got to."
Obligatory.
"You know I gave it up a long time ago, Frank."
"That why you still won gold?"
*Solemnly looks at his trophies*
"There's nobody left who can do what you do. Not since..."
*Places badge after lengthy, drawn out montage.*
"You know I wouldn't ask if I had any other choice. Think about it, Joey."
Haha