Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some tips re: how to have a close, connected relationship with my wife who's asleep. We have been drifting further apart since I started waking up since November. Do any of you have a GOOD STRONG CONNNECTED relationship with your spouse who's asleep? Any tips?
I'm not looking for tips on how to wake her up because often my attempts to red-pill has caused even more disconnect. I'm looking for tips for how to have a GOOD STRONG CONNECTED relationship despite the awake vs. asleep difference.
For context of our difference, my wife was double-vaxxed ASAP and disregards my conclusions about anything when people in authoritative positions say otherwise. We're both Christians, but it's different now. I think I was spiritually woken up and I see the world differently. She's asleep and not interested in waking up and I feel like she wants me to fall back asleep in order to connect. Problem is.. I don't want to go back to sleep. Any tips are appreciated!
I think the vax disagreements have split people apart more than politics, because it’s very personal and related to a deep fear of illness and death.
If you want to connect with her more, I recommend setting aside your attempts to red pill her, and listen to her fears. Ask her, “What scares you about the world right now?” And really listen, don’t try to fix her fears. Don’t respond much, just be quiet and listen. Or say, “How are we doing? Are you feeling disconnected?” And listen, let her talk. If she opens up, give her comforting words like, “No matter what, or how we see things differently, I’m here for you and we will get through this time together.” This is a way to get closer. And consider yourself a man who is okay with letting his wife not know what’s going on in the world... she’s letting you know that she NEEDS to think things are normal like they used to be and therefore she needs you to PROTECT her from having to know about the nasty brutal things going on outside the home. On a deeper symbolic level, the home is the woman’s domain, and protecting it from the dangers out there is the mans domain. Modern women are so liberated, and they certainly can do it all, but when it comes to relationships, our ancestral archetypes often prevail. It’s wonderful to have a spouse you can talk about these things with, but since you don’t, it will help you to find friends to talk politics and vaccines with, so you can just talk about other stuff with her. And... once she feels you care about her, (and aren’t trying to push your scary crazy ideas on her) she will trust you more, and may eventually be more open to hearing your thoughts.
I’m a marriage counselor, and have long experience with this. Just my 2 cents for your consideration.