"Three Contractors"

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

• The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

• The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

• The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000." The official, incredulous, says: "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure? ” The Chicago contractor whispers back: "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."

• "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked. Remember... Four boxes keep us free:

• The soap box,
• The ballot box,
• The jury box, and...
• The cartridge box. "I love my country. it's the government I'm afraid of!"