I'm sorry to hear OP and so many of you have struggled with depression and anxiety, I empathize with your struggles. I've had my own bouts in the past, especially after coming back from Afghanistan the last time. It took me years to finally come back around and finally quit taking the poison the VA was feeding me. First off, don't give up. Chalk this up as nothing more than "you are going through a "dark valley" period in your life." Tell yourself you're going to get through it. Remind yourself daily that for every dark valley we pass through, there will be another bright peak we will eventually cross. Personal growth and understanding is derived from passing through these rough periods in our lives. They are temporary. Once I started studying and identifying what was causing me to feel anxious and depressed, I was able to start making some changes. I had to start by letting go of things, routines and people in my life which were unhealthy for me. This included career paths, family members, "friends" who were holding me back from my true potential. Realizing thoughts are the precursor to emotions was a big step too. Study what you think and then how it makes you feel. Self talk is a very powerful tool and can be used productively for positive benefits, or it can undermine everything we have going on in our lives. Medications are a temporary solution to the real underlying issues. They strip your body of vitamins and minerals as these are required to process the drug and flush it from your body. If you aren't putting these back regularly, it compounds the problem.. Depression and anxiety have a more hands on approach for healing. Figure out what has you feeling depressed and anxious. Tackle the problem by fixing those things that keep you distressed first. Some might say therapy helps, but after tons of therapy, I came to the conclusion all of the answers were within me the entire time. Set aside some time each day to just goof off. Do something you enjoy, or something you've always wanted to try. Vent your frustrations, worries, concerns as they arise, don't bottle your emotions. We all tend to compartmentalize our lives mentally, shoving down the negative emotions and thoughts, while trying to focus on optimistic thoughts and feelings. This is the wrong. Give yourself permission to experience both the positive and the negative aspects of your experience. When you are feeling low, it's okay. Be kind to yourself and accept it. We all have low points. Remember to keep going, don't give up, don't dwell on it. I took Rhodiola Rosea extract which seemed to help. There are other natural remedies as well and I suggest doing some research. Eventually what helped me most was Psilocybin and fixing the problems I had in my life. I'm not suggesting this as a go to solution, but it worked for me. Aside from Arthritis I'm living pain free and I know you can get there too. It takes some time, being honest with yourself and never giving up. I still have low days at times, but that is okay. I've learned to accept it and move on towards things that make me happy. I know you have it in you to do so as well.