My son married a lovely, smart girl who was raised in a liberal midwestern family that by all appearances are typical upper middle class. Father is CEO of a foundation, the mother an RN that works with a local family practice. Wonderful people. Charming, bright, educated, hard working and love the good life. Oh, and are liberals, important point.
The mother is convinced that Covid is truely a deadly disease because she has seen so many people die from it. Her husband, a big strapping guy spent over a month in the hospital from it. So, to her everything in life is Covid. It's the central focus of every discussion. Because she's a nurse, she feels she's the one with the most knowledge about this deadly disease and at liberty to set some standards when it comes to any get togethers.
This weekend my son and wife were planning a birthday party for their only child. The wife miscarried 2 months ago after being fully vaxed. But no problem because her mother said the two aren't related because she's the nurse and knows. My wife and I were planning on attending the party until my son called this morning and said, "Dad, don't shoot the messenger". You can guess what was coming. His mother-in-law was requesting all that attend the party be Covid tested first. I thought for a moment and said that we wouldn't be coming then. He said, but Dad you can get one of those quickie tests at CVS no problem. I said why would I, I'm not sick?
Then I said, listen son. My life doesn't revolve around Covid. I asked, when were you last tested for smallpox? polio? You do realize that people who think everyone needs to test when they are not sick are suffering from a mental illness? The science shows that the people who carry the highest Covid viral load are those fully vaccinated, not those unvaccinated. My wife and I are not vaccinated nor will we be. We will not be pushed into getting a test that isn't accurate when we don't feel sick either. It's a matter of principle. We had no problem being there because we don't care if they're vaccinated or not. It's a personal matter and that's it.
I said we will see our grand daughter some other time when they're not around to get our imaginary cootie bugs. Sorry, but I will not be bullied, pressured or anything else to satisfy someone else's insecurity and need for control. We don't roll like that. We love you, your wife and our grand daughter so we'll see you some other time.
"But Dad, Betty (not her real name) is concerned because she has seen so many friends die." Son, that's because her friends were never given a script for HCQ or Ivermectin early when they first got sick. Their doctors never told them to take Vit D, C, and zinc. Then, when they got to the local hospital they were given Remdesivir like her husband. Probably, one of the worst things they could have been given. It destroys kidneys. Betty thinks she knows what's best but I assure you, she knows nothing of the science. She follows protocols which are wrong. Exasperated, he says I hope this doesn't destroy my daughter's relationship with you and mom. It won't but we draw the line now because I don't set conditions for them nor should they for us.
Covid destroys minds more than any other part of the body. I won't be bullied regardless, nor will I or my wife give in to pressure. Starting down that road then leads to show your vax card to enter. No thanks. We're just a couple of loving grandparents who have their standards, their morals and their common sense. I won't give them up even if it means I'll miss seeing my lovely grand daughter. Sorry, I don't drink Kool Aid. Never liked the stuff nor will I in the future.
I agree with you. It's not like the party is being held at the mother-in-laws house where they can make whatever decision they want. It's her dictating terms at my son's house that's wrong. My refusal to come is pointed more toward him. Grow a pair, son. Time to assert your authority and say it's my home, my child and my parents and I want them to come without conditions. He has to choose if he's a man or wimp. I could crash the party and say no I didn't take the test and cause a scene but why? I want to see my granddaughter without pretext, conditions or pretending. I don't want to play games. I won't force myself on them either. They know I don't have conditions for them to visit me so maybe that's how it's done from here on out?
You have another party.
You invite everyone.
You stipulate that there will be no mask and no "vaccination" requirements.
Come at your own risk.
Basically that is what is happening. My son called again to ask if we could get together on Sunday and have a separate party for their daughter. I said sure as there are no conditions. Fine with me and it's actually better because only my wife and I, my daughter and her husband both unvaxxed will come too. More time with their 2 kids as well. My son confided that he loves his wife but this has really divided them. He got both of Pfizer shots but no boosters yet. His wife got everything. She also lost the baby 2 months into pregnancy but her mother and doctor assured her the miscarriage has nothing to do with the shots. Right. Too bad they don't follow the science like they profess. I know they're trying again for a second child and all I can do is hope and pray for the best. If the best doesn't happen it won't be a shocker to me.
I have been praying hard for Gods protection over my adult kids. I fear that they will eventually be forced to get the shot because of some mandate or other. I found out over Christmas that the girl my son is seeing got the shot one hour before they paused the mandate. She works in health care. Now I’m concerned as to whether sex can some how impact my son. He is the last male to carry on his late fathers name and I really want grands. My daughter says she isn’t sure she wants any kids.pressure from her guy. Many of us are sick of this fake crap ruing our family’s lives. Bless you and your family as you find your way through this.