So after years of being a “lukewarm Christian” at best I finally started regularly going to a baptist church last spring, right before they stopped making people wear masks indoors. I was longing for spiritual fullness so much that I ignored the fact that they were almost all mask and government law lovers.
Shortly after joining the church the mask mandate was lifted and despite not being a fan of most of their worship music, and despite teaching out of the ESV which I have mixed feelings about, I was enjoying it.
A month ago we returned to mask-dom and couldn’t help but going back to feeling like an outsider, hating every moment of it. I “want” to go back but I feel differently about 90% of the members now (that they are suckers) and having grown quite a bit feel like I don’t even want to go anymore. What do you fellow Christians think? I almost feel like I’d only be going at this point so I don’t “look” like a backpedaler, and don’t want to offend the very good Pastors there. not into the worship music, the Bible study lessons I can get elsewhere, and im not big on socializing…
What would/did you do? Stick with it? Find a new church? Just continue to worship on my own?
I could have almost written your post myself as it's something that's been hugely on my mind. I'm a new christian - I'd been going to church about 2 years when everything shut down. No-one in my nuclear family goes to church or ever has. For 6 months I was carried forward by a strong faith, some good local fellowship and online church. And then I started to feel like my cup was running dry. Just as this happened, the church opened up again - they wanted to wait until we were allowed to sing and meet without masks. I started to get some church discipline back in my life - I really recognise that I need the support of fellow believers - i need regular fellowship with people who love God and want to talk about him and help each other deepen in relationship with him. Without it, I get too distracted by the world.
Anyway, we're in the UK and they brought back in mask mandates just before our church (which runs in a school) closed down for holidays, and then I got covid so haven't been able to go for a few weeks. Now i find myself really struggling - I really want to be part of a community that is seeking to centre their lives around God, but I don't want to lie or pretend and to me wearing a mask is doing both of those things. I'm happy to risk people's anger by not wearing a mask in shops etc, but it seems really disrespectful to a community that is gathering togehther out of choice to not wear it when they have explicitly asked us to follow the government guidelines - (I know whilst there are many who don't buy it, there are also many in the community who feel safer wearing masks. )
It's left me feeling like I don't know where I belong. I'm a young christian and I know I need the fellowship of more experienced believers to help me keep my focus where I want it to be, but I feel stuck. I don't not care about what they think of me, the way i do strangers in restaurants, shops etc, but I'm not close enough to anyone there to expect them to accomodate me refusing to follow the rules...
The result is I haven't been in church properly for nearly 2 years ago and I feel my focus on Jesus weakening. I also don't feel confident to walk into a completely new church with the intention of ignoring rules that the congregation is following...
And I agree with other posts - i think this is a deliberate attempt to weaken the church and I don't want to play a part in that but I honestly don't know what to do either...