REPORTED BY SHITPOST INTERNATIONAL NEWS SERVICE--Clinton family representatives announced that Bill Clinton, former U.S. president, has made the Guinness Book of World Records for having the highest number of venereal diseases at one time while still standing. (See photos here: https://americanpatriotdaily.com/featured/alexandria-ocasio-cortezs-comments-on-bill-clinton-has-him-seeing-red/ and http://drfittinfo.com/solving-mystery-autoimmune-conditions/bill-clinton/)

Family and friends at an intimate gathering congratulated President Clinton on making the record book. According to anonymous sources, "daughter" Chelsea Clinton said "I knew he could do it. If someone puts enough time and energy into something, they can accomplish anything."

Failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was also proud of her husband's accomplishment. "It's a shame that Kuru doesn't count as a venereal disease. He would have made the Guinness Book much sooner," she said as she and best friend Huma Aberdin returned to their barbecue.