Months ago, when the whole jab thing started, my mother and father in law were determined to get it, because TV told them so.
I advised them not to, and that they are going to damage themselves, multiple times, I event told them about how I ended paralised for a month as a kid when I received vaccine back then... Nothing... They went and did it. 3 times. So after that I basically told them I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Now my father in law, months later, as expected, got a serious pneumonia, lost ability to walk, or even sit in bed, lost control of his bowel movements, and ability to talk, so we are taking care of him the best we could trying not to loose our minds in the process... Showing up with a smile, trying to make their life easier, paying for bills, paying for medication, paying for diapers, and food, clipping his toe nails, cutting his hair and beard, changing diapers...
So on top of all that, wife and I were "politely asked" last night to respect my brother in law more, since he feels that "a lot is depending on him". Same brother in law who was organising excursions with the rest of the family to go for a group testing, to see what might be wrong with them... The same guy who cannot lift a bed matrace without having 2 people help him, while wife and I are the ones carrying his immobilised father around... Same guys who can buy both wife and me with his salary but is paying way less for their bad decisions, and the first thing he came to us with was "how are we going to divide the expanses"...
So I snapped, and yelled my lungs off. So my brother in laws, hypochondriac ass was insisting on them getting jabbed. They did it and we are stoically dealing with the damage made, because they are our parents. And I am accused that I am not "respecting" him enough by not being knowledgeable in ins and outs of hospitals and doctors and procedures and not getting the ideas "first" about where to drag the patient, next...
I am not proud of myself, my friends. I did not have "I told you so" moment at any point there. But I think that even the neighbors in next building heard about the boundaries that they will never be allowed to fucking cross with me...
The messed up thing is that I feel like a piece of shit, now, for allowing myself to go full dark mode.
I took care of both of my parents when they could no long do so for themselves. I've walked the walk, fren, and know where you're coming from, although having no siblings, I didn't have to deal with others. However, that meant I was on my own for most of it.
It's a tough job, fren, no two ways about it. You're doing the best you can with the knowledge you've got. It's hard. It's massively stressful -- because you feel like you have someone else's life in your hands...and you're not a doctor. You don't always know what you're doing or where to get the help you need. But, the key here is...you're doing it. Somehow, through the Grace of God, you're doing it.
Don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow isn't here yet. Focus on today, on this hour. Do what needs to be done now, at this moment. Everything else will come in its time. One day at a time, fren, one day at a time.
Yeah, you hit your limit, fren. Everyone does. Being a caregiver is hard, so cut yourself some slack. Yeah, you were angry, but it was a righteous anger. You tried to warn them and they didn't listen. Now, it's become your issue. You're allowed to have your say. Now, it's time to let it go and forgive yourself. You're only human. Tomorrow is another day.
May God grant you strength and the ability to carry on. He's always there when you need Him.
And, remember, you're doing this for your father-in-law. No one else matters.
God bless, fren.
Thank you so much, for these words. People and comments here give me back the faith in humanity
It's a hard row to hoe, fren, but one you won't later regret.
You will also find that in your darkest hour, there will be a spark of joy to lift you up. I had this happen to me while I was struggling to change my father's Depends. Not only was he bedridden, but he had dementia and couldn't always be reasoned with. He was fighting me tooth and nail to get it on. I no sooner had it on him when he went again and I had to start all over. This was late at night after a long day of taking care of him. I was thoroughly exhausted. I finally got a clean one on him and had him tucked into bed.
It was then that he looked up at me with the most angelic look on his face that you can possibly imagine. The next words playfully out of his mouth were, "Just call me Mr. Party Peter." Then he gave me a huge grin, like he knew he'd gotten one over on me. I couldn't help but bust a gut. It was totally out of the blue and hilarious.
God knows when you need a good laugh, fren. 😉