I grew up in an awakened family, and was awake young. It was so surreal knowing what was going on was a facade, but few would listen. Knowing you'd be branded a loony bird for speaking truth, I learned early to just stay quiet. Even then I never heard the full info about stuff, so having only bits and pieces didn't help either.

Even when I met others of like mind, I didn't have a complete picture, and some off the wall, even more extreme views would put me off talking to that nut job....who I realized later just knew more than I did at the time.

Sadly, I saw many brilliant minds go off the deep end, going too deep down the wrong rabbit hole into fake conspiracies, into true madness.

Years went by, life happened, and yet there was the ever increasing anxiety in the back of my mind, creaping every so often into my corner of reality.

The observance of our body politic was painfully, always building up wrongs...losses for the good team, loss of ground, rights, bad moves, out-maneuvered, seemingly to a crescendo that yet never came, only built bigger and bigger.

That urgency to do something turned into a frenetic pace with the gaslighting Obama was tasked with. It turned into a clawing, silent constant scream in my mind. The nightmare was calmed with the win of Trump, a positive force. In the dark. Win after win, ignoring russia russia, seeing the wave build against the evil, was glorious.

Then the cheat night. And the aftermath, the meltdowns. We actually bought rations, still in my closet. Bought supplies, more stuff than i care to talk about. I spent 3 months following the stories, research, full well knowing what had happened. Jan 6 came and went. Jan 20th. Surrealism at its best. All the criminals held their breath through the gun salute. So many proofs, so much evidence. So many crappy suburbans.

. . .

Ultimately, I feel like a burden has been lifted, and clouds are parted to shining skies. My life of conspiracy theories and fringe knowledge taught to me over decades has been proven true, vindicated even.

It matters not that many still think it lunacy, or unproven, or that the war rages around us. The burden is shared and feels light as a feather. Freely able to talk about it, articulate, decern the truths from lies. I finally feel at peace.

Tomorrow I will get to business fighting this war, but today I am at peace.