134
posted ago by Lightworker15 ago by Lightworker15 +135 / -1

Apologize for just cutting and pasting a long message, but this is too good. From QAnonCasualties:

I am going to FAKE hanging out with my friends to get a covid vaccine but I AM REALLY REALLY SCARED Content: Help Needed

Edit: My plan is ruined, they want to come with me and walk around the mall as well. I am defeated and lost.

I don't have too much time so I'll make it short. I am 18M, and I like to lurk on these subreddits because they resonate with me so much. I have no money to move out and no car of my own, so I am not exactly free to do much even though I have adult autonomy. I have my permit and have 100% driving ability (minus freeway driving) so I know I can pass a license test with flying colors, but my mother refuses to let me use her car for the test because she says I am not ready but I know that is just manipulative bullshit.

My parents are full-blown Q-adjacent, so think anything of them and they are probably that. Antivaccine? Yep. Homophobic? You bet. Racist? You got it. Christian fundies? Absolutely. Flat Earthers? Fucking yes. Pro-life? Ohhh, my gears have DEFINITELY been grinded these past few days.

Obviously I cannot drive somewhere and get the jab secretly. And obviously it is the ultimate sin in this family. They still trust me and I can still be supported by them for college but if they ever find out I am DONE for. That is why I am staging hanging out with some friends at the mall so we can all run out the back and they can drive me to a Target so I can get a jab from their CVS clinic or whatever it is called. The meetup is tomorrow and I have everything planned and even text conversations faked so if my parents ask to see my cellphone again they can see I am not doing any funny business. Yes, I know, I am 18 and should stand up for my privacy, but I would rather get a vaccine and sacrifice my integrity rather than hop on my ego and risk losing my one chance at being safe from a killer infectious disease, you catch my drift?

The problem is, I am literally so scared, like I am actually shitting myself out of fear (need to go use the restroom like now yikes). I have never been this scared in a long time and I don't want to fuck it up because I just KNOW if they catch even a HINT of perceived nefariousness then I will start stuttering and my heart rate will go up and they will know I am lying. I stayed up late last night just fucking terrified and watching war film scenes to get inspired a bit and feel like I am a soldier on a mission and that I should just compartmentalize and disassociate until this whole operation is over. But FUCK in a couple of hours I NEED to ask my parents and make it known (since even though I will drive there my mother still has to accompany me since I have no license and it's her car).

I am also really scared that this will backfire and she will want to actually follow me in or end up doing errands and coincidentally going to the same Target I need to covertly get to.

I am also worried about how appointments work for the CVS clinic. Does anyone know if they just have walk-ins? I will be making an appointment for a Pfizer covid jab and a flu jab (are they safe together? CDC says so but I want it because I never got a flu jab my whole LIFE) regardless but having that extra pressure of needing to be there at a specific time SUCKS and is making me want to shit and piss myself literally, like FUCK I am scared as fuck.

I have a stone cold face in real life and am just swallowing this and covering it with anger to keep my head clear but fucking shitbird ballsack I straight up just want to quit and back out of this whole thing. Not going to but (fuck I am pausing for a bit because I feel like puking) never did anything this courageous my whole life and I don't know how to proceed without fucking it up.

Any advice? Please and thank you. This mostly a rant and venting session but please I am scared.

Edit: I am gagging and now I really need to calm down holy SHIT.