This is why people are addicts. You didn't like it when you were on it, but you kept taking it until your metabolism was dependent on it, so naturally when you quit taking it you got sick. Like if you suddenly decided to quit drinking water, how sick would you be? So you think the lesser of two evils is to go back. ATM that may be true, to straighten out the sudden derangement, but soon you will be right back where you started, dissatisfied with the effect, not planning ahead on how to wean off, not addressing the basic issue that made you think you needed to dull your mind, you run out, now you really know what crap feels like, you appeal to strangers for a quick fix, but all their suggestions are impossible... don't let this be the way you end your life. Go to the ER, their advice may still be crap but they will at least be in a position to see just how precarious your immediate health is. Then start figuring a permanent way out and plan ahead. Will require work and pain. You can accept that or keep spinning until you die. I will pray for you, that you can pull out of this.