Lately I've fallen in what feels like a rut of life. I feel numb to all that life has to offer me. I've spent a year with a very taxing new baby who I love and adore but has been my hardest baby yet and my third. Now into toddlerhood, still very much more difficult then my other two children before I feel there is a hint of light at the end of the tunnel. Still I'm just numb. Nothing that I used to be passionate about brings me much anything. From gardening to farming, to writing, to starting new projects etc. I used to leap at the chance to do any of these. Now I can't seem to start anything. I'm plagued with fatigue and mental tiredness. I've done it all to try to alleviate the issue, great diet, plenty of vitamin, lots of sun, long walks, light exercise 4x a week. I'm no longer in darkness but not in the light either. I'm an avid Bible reader/studier but even here, I feel I've lost my spark. Like I've lost my first love. I'm just reading out of duty, praying out of duty, going to church out of duty. Which is so different from a year or two ago. Now to the point. Any recommendations for a personal Bible study, (preferably tangible like a book) about finding the love for God again, I'm not mad at God or faltering in my faith, mentally I rock solid believe in his grace and salvation but . But currently emotionally I feel a whole lot of nothing about everything. I'd like like to think it's better than the darkness but honestly I'm not too sure it is...
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You aren't alone!
I have a 2 year old, just the one child, she is a miracle after 21 years childless, but.....she doesnt sleep well and i have a thyroid condition and a few other major health issues. I am running on love but i am physically and mentally drained. Hang in there. I can only imagine dealing with a difficult child while you have 2 others. I see moms at the park with 2 and wonder how they donit. i am struggling and just so tired at 44 with only 1. I wish God had sent her at 22 when i was healthier.
Thank you friend, it is somehow comforting to know there are others in the vast universe in the same season of life as you, although I hate to hear you are struggling through it like me. I'll be saying a prayer for you and your little one :)