Not always what I wanted, but always what I needed I began this weeks ago and as I finish it now, I can’t help but let the tears just flow. So many times in life I found myself in dire straits and You God came to my rescue and saved me, protected me and covered my every need. A few times You even sent angels when I was in danger and did not know to warn me and though I couldn’t see them, I heard and felt their presence.
Then there were my attempts to self destruct. You brought me very precious and memorable, much needed distractions. I am ever so thankful now for these times, for without them I would not have the many blessings that I now treasure, love and enjoy so much. I would not have my family and my seven beautiful Grandbabies or our beautiful home. You’ve brought me through through my parents divorce as a little girl, my dad’s 25 yrs of alcoholism & homelessness, various childhood abuses, losing dad to cancer, Grama to Dementia and other loved ones close to me, the most trying times, the worst hardships, You brought help ‘out of nowhere’ when I was near homeless and had lost jobs to take me in on more than one occasion. You brought me the husband I needed, so many years ago when I was seeking out those who reminded me of dad who were not good for me at all and You used the most unlikely, creative way in which to do it. That could only have come from You. Through many broken bones and surgeries, loss of babies, excruciating emotional and physical pains. Debilitating and extremely painful disc disease and sciatica that crippled me You used to draw me close to rely on You. Through the many struggles, pains and sorrows, You have strengthened me and ways I may never know. Through extreme depression and roller coaster mood swings. You helped me find the sun again when darkness lingered for the longest time. You’ve brought me back to You time and time again, when I wandered off and lost my way You Lord, through times I was as Hosea’s wife when I struggled with loneliness and heartache and unfaithfulness You brought me back again. You showed me Your mercies and grace that I didn’t deserve. Thank You Jesus, for loving me Jesus, and for never letting me go. There is no way I could ever doubt You.

Your Holy Spirit has shown me my purpose, now I wait on You. Because what You said, well I believe it and I know it to be true. Your promises You have always kept, though not on my time, but Yours and You are never late.

Many times when I find myself wanting things I am unable to obtain. Sometimes there are needs. Those things You have always come through on in some way. The wants, not so often. I know You Lord Jesus always have me in Your hands and will never fail me, because my hope and my trust is in You. You have never failed me yet.

Psalm 84:3 Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Psalm 121:1 A Song of degrees. I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

Philippians 4:11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Philippians 2:12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,

Psalm 46:1 To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of the sons of Korah. A Song for Alamoth. God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.

Matthew 10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.

For many years I have known that I had a birthmark on the back of my left upper arm, however until just recently I didn’t realize it’s shape. Looking in the mirror a couple weeks ago, I realized that I have a diamond or what my daughters say appears to be an arrow shaped birthmark on the back of my arm with a cross inside. I know this is a mark from You, a reminder of who I am. You tell me, I am chosen, I am redeemed, I am Yours.

The cross is the place where all the wounds of sin are healed. If you suffer from emotional problems--guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, pain, loss whatever--there is healing in the cross of Christ

AR'ROW

1. A missive weapon of offense, straight, slender, pointed and barbed, to be shot with a bow.
2. In scripture, the arrows of God are the apprehensions of his wrath, which pierce and pain the conscience. Job 6. Ps. 38. In a like figurative manner, arrows represent the judgments of God, as thunder, lightning, tempests and famine. 2Sam. 22.

Diamonds Diamonds represents incorruptibility. Beliefs, feelings, or situations that are guaranteed. Diamonds may also represent virtue or principles that are unwavering. Never giving in or compromising who you are or what you belief in.
 Diamond

1. A precious gem (Heb. yahalom', in allusion to its hardness), otherwise unknown, the sixth, i.e., the third in the second row, in the breastplate of the high priest, with the name of Naphtali engraven on it (Exodus 28:18; 39:11; R.V. marg., "sardonyx.")
2. A precious stone (Heb. shamir', a sharp point) Jeremiah 17:1 “The sin of Judah is inscribed with an iron chisel— engraved with a diamond point on their stony hearts and on the corners of their altars. From its hardness it was used for cutting and perforating other minerals. It is rendered "adamant"

Ezekiel 3:9, I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid of them or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people.”

Zechariah 7:12 They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen to the law or to the words that the LORD Almighty had sent by his Spirit through the earlier prophets. So the LORD Almighty was very angry.

It is the hardest and most valuable of precious stones.

The cross-where all the wounds of sin are healed. If you suffer from emotional problems--guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, or whatever--there is healing in the cross of Christ

Ephesians 2:16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

Galatians 6:17 From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.

Ezekiel 9:6 Slaughter the old men, the young men and women, the mothers and children, but do not touch anyone who has the mark. Begin at my sanctuary.” So they began with the old men who were in front of the temple.

Revelations 7:3 “Do not harm the land or the sea or the trees until we put a seal on the foreheads of the servants of our God.”

                                     jWinters

• [ ]