Im sorry it's so long but please forgive me it’s painful to type. I am a military wife who fell off a school bus 25 years ago Dec 5, 1998. I spent the first 14 years moving from state to state with my hubby but for me, it was to find a doctor who could fix my arm/neck/shoulder. Only The Lord and I knew there was something major going on and like Job in the Bible, I drew near to Him. In 2014 they found out what was wrong and I had 2 surgeries in Utah and 1 in Massachusetts. I still have a lot of pain so I spend a lot of time on the internet which made me go to Washington DC on January 6th, my father also died in Vietnam, my hubby is in the Army and my son is a Marine. I couldn't find anyone to go with me so my niece listens to this group called Pass the Salt with Coach Dave. Podcast/church group, from Ohio. We were stationed in Illinois so just about an 8-hour drive to Ohio. I didn't know anyone from this group but there were about a hundred of us. Half went to the Capital and half went to Trump's speech. At 7 a.m. on Jan. 6th I and 3 other older ladies went to the Capital and the Capital police shuffled us back behind the Capital and a movable steel fence that went up to your waist. We were right in front, and the men broke down the fence to the right side of us and ran to the Capital doors. I grabbed 2 of the women and pulled them away or they would have been trampled. It stressed me out so bad I went to smoke and walk around the permanent black fence/block area, me and another of the ladies. We went east and came up the eastside/south side of the Capital and ran right into about 14-20 people/white young men dressed in Riot gear wearing all black. They were behind the movable fence and 3 DC police were in front of them. When we walked up all 14-20 men turned and looked at us. The police turned their face away. I didn’t know at the time but now I do and they were Antifa. As we walked to the right on the grass to get back to our group, we saw 2 red flares go off on the Southside and those DC police let in those people on the Southside dressed in black with riot gear. They were the ones climbing the Capital wall and breaking windows. The backside of the Capital was in the Capital first cause they went in maybe around noon. We talked to a few House of Rep. People Vernon Jones was one of them. A lot of strange things happened that day but not as strange as what happened when I got home. Friday I felt The Lord stir in me, that’s how I would explain it and I went into my husband's office and told him Do not put me in the hospital, The Lord is going to talk to me for the next 30 days. He said yaya ok and continued to be on the computer, I stepped over the doorway and I heard a voice in my head. He told me ALL about my childhood and why things went the way they did. I’m adopted and He told me my bloodline is with William Bradford who came over on the Mayflower. ( I had my niece get hold of my real family and its True I am related to William Bradford on my deceased father's side) The Lord talked with me for 4 days (and showed me visions) straight I didn’t eat, sleep, or take medication. It was like His voice volume was turned up in my head. I went on Facebook and told everyone that the Lord was talking to me on the 2 night and a guy I known from high school (I’m 54) contacted me. He said, “What color of van did you ride in with this group”? I told him and he said that he was a Freemason and it was being reported that people that rode in this color of the van, the Holy Spirit/God is talking to them. The Lord told me about the children, the tunnels, and our government, He is NOT HAPPY we had a gay president, He showed me a vision of the Obamas and yes she is a he (Mike Obama) I saw it, They have changed the wording in the Bible, He showed me a few points in History where history/Lies messed up one was in the late 1870s after Civil War and 1917 oh and The Titanic wasn’t hit by an iceberg. NOT to take the shot, going to shut down for 10 days, leave the cities and He told me Trump is still President and he is the chosen one. (one vision was Trump sitting in front of a chest board and bowing down to Yeshua) The Lord talked scripture to me with everything He said and when I went to look it up it was WORD for WORD in The Bible. Jerimiah, Isaiah, Revelations and 1 more prophesy book that has escaped me at this moment. I had names from Hollyhell that were bad, Tom Hanks is one of them. He even showed me a picture of what I would look like in Heaven. My niece tried to tell me back in 2019 but I told her I wasn’t going to believe any of it unless the Lord tells me Himself and He did. He also told me that there were a few in Government that have not done wrong in his heart because they spiked his drink/food/drugs and then videotaped him with a young girl/boy. And so much more. My husband ended up taking me to the hospital and I woke up feeling like I got hit in the head by a 2x4 not pain, but dazed. I came home within 24 hours because Hubby threatened that if they didn’t let me go his next call would be to a Jag Officer. I didn’t go home and start looking things up right away, I spent a lot of time in prayer and The Bible. The first of Feb. I started researching things the Lord said and found out that this Q person/people were saying the same things The Lord told me, which made me find this group. I can’t express how Loving the Lord is and how much He Loves each and every one of us, He knew us before we were born. And He knows every hair on our heads. He isn’t mad at us for being HUMAN, He understands and forgives us, but these people are not human, and they are evil demons that worship satan. Oh and so are aliens fallen angels that went with satan when left heaven. The Lord isn’t mean and I asked him to not take as long as He did with my arm/shoulder/neck 14 years was too long for all the visions and things to come true people would think I was crazy. Well, my Daddy called last weekend and told me he has had 3 people tell him the exact things the Lord told me and now he believes. I had my other son call after Tucker's show about Obama and now he believes all that’s left is my Husband to wake up. This has NEVER happened to me although I am close to The Lord He has never talked this LOUD to me or this directly where I TALKED to HIM and HE TALK BACK!!. If you believe Jesus is the son of God and was sent here to die for YOUR SINs, You Are The Bride, The Church, Which is In Each and Every one of US who Believe, I heard it from the highest Lord God, The Alpha, The Omega The beginning and in the end "He Wins” He told me so.
It's going to be Biblical
WWG1WGA
I'm 52, and I was baptized and accepted Jesus' salvation into my life when I was 16 and confessed him as my Lord and Savior. Since then, Silence. The epic struggle of unbelief and faith has plagued me continually, and even though I confess this sin to God and repent of it and receive Jesus' forgiveness over me, the whole process is never something that I've ever been delivered from.
And my mind and heart has taken on such a deep sense of rejection from God BECAUSE of this silence and the continued struggle of unbelief and doubt, that he, even though his word throughout scripture states his desire to deliver us from all our troubles (according to his will though, and that can be very hard to discern), that he has chosen to not deliver me from this most difficult and soul breaking state of being. And like in the psalms, "My soul is cast down within me, my heart is dismayed".
What I do know though is that beneath this struggle, the desire for GOD/Jesus has never left me. The desire for him and not his blessings, but for him and who he is as God. And yet, I feel myself weakening to the point of where my soul is so barren within me that I have given room to suicidal thoughts for many years. And even that has become a source of guilt and shame with God, knowing that those thoughts grieve his spirit and yet the wall of despair that assails me, leaves me like Elijah, or Job, or any of the other countless people that God has used for his purposes in the past. And yet what is always the end result is silence and despair.
For I read that God WANTS to love me and hold me in his arms, and bless me and have the deepest relationship with me where he wills in me and does through me his heart of love so that I would love him back and be empowered BY him and his spirit alone. But this never happens within me, I remain in this place where I have no discernment to even KNOW that I'm hearing his voice and to be sure of it. Knowing that it is God's spirit that is doing this within me.
I read this and other testimonies from fellow Christians here and on other sites and just am left wondering when will Jesus prove himself to me. As Keith Green said in his song Altar Call.
"Jesus proved himself to me in such a complete way, such a holy way, that I'd die for that faith, and I'd die for that belief. Because he's more than a belief, he lives in my heart...and that's the only proof that I can give you, that he lives in my heart."
I'm tired of struggling with doubt, I'm tired of self. I long to be under God's wing and covered by his feathers and live a simple life of love and obedience to Him and know his will for me personally, and be moved by his spirit in faith and trust, to walk in his purpose for my life.
Ok, I would start small again. Get up tomorrow and all Day long Praise Him... You find your keys Thank The Lord. It's sunny Praise The Lord It's raining Praise The Lord. Every little thing Praise The Lord. Write posts all over your Bathroom mirror, or all the places you look most. Fill those posted with Joy verses that speak to you. Keep Praising him ALL Day long. The next day do it again. Also, pray The Lord's prayer OUTLOUD all over your home and scream out loud if anything is in this home that doesn't Love The Lord Jesus Christ LEAVE in the name of Jesus. Go into a room every day by yourself quiet and talk with him (He does read minds), and read your Bible KJV. After a few days, I promise it will be better. Find Joyful people to hang with No more negative nancys.