I’m having such mixed feelings. Of course I’m happy that Trump won. And I suppose the argument is that well states actually did their part in upholding election laws so that is the difference now. But based off of the lengths they went through before to blatantly lie and steal the election in front of everyone’s faces without what seemed an ounce of remorse, it just seems off in some way that things went so smoothly. Which is also why I’m not getting overly excited until January 20th once he is inaugurated.

This brings me to another feeling. In a way, I almost wanted them to steal it again. Especially now that so many people are awake now. I suppose I think it’s because in hopes of a lot of people being held accountable and arrested this time. Which I would think would be a lot of the same people who were also responsible in 2020 for doing the same thing. And that to me it makes me feel a little anger that it seems 2020 will never be vindicated. And that although we know that it was stolen in multiple different ways, that the general public will still believe Biden won fair and square and that there really was an insurrection on the capitol on J6. Am I wrong and selfish for that?

And thinking how if there is an economic collapse, with the same thinking as I know that we know but that the general public doesn’t, that how bad that will look if it happens when trumps in. I know by now though that it just may be the plan that I think is set to happen, but may not actually be the plan. I do still wonder that though. While at the same time reserving in my mind that there’s still a whole lot of time between now and January 20th. So I for myself, will not be so relieved until he is in there for sure.

I’m just venting on how differently I felt last night than I thought I would. Almost made me feel guilty at times and asking why am I not happier 😂.

This is why I love it here, to have somewhere to think and not feel crazy. So for today I am happy, but I do think that there is more coming on the way between now and January 20th.

Peace and love frens