At some point along the grand timeline of existence... guess what, everything was new!

Penicillin was new!

SmartCookie: "OMG this idiot is saying EAT MOLD to get better. What a fucking idiot!"

Cell towers were new!

SmartCookie: "OMG those operate on RADIO WAVES you know what else does? MICROWAVES. These towers are going to MICROWAVE YOUR BRAIN!"

Cell phones got smaller!

SmartCookie: "OMG don't carry your cellphone in your pocket you're gonna get testicular cancer!!!"

Rock music was new!

SmartCookie: "OMG this is the devil's music don't listen to it your soul will be captured by Satan!"

Seatbelts were new!

SmartCookie: "OMG you're going to get trapped in your car in an accident don't wear them!"

Aspirin was new!

SmartCookie: "OMG this stuff is salicylic ACID you know ACID is bad for you right don't take ACID (unless it's the goooood acid wink wink hehe)."

Electricity was new!

SmartCookie: "OMG that stuff can kill an elephant I saw Thomas Edison do it! Don't use it!!!!"

Anything else you don't understand...

Smartcookie: "OMG THEY'RE A WITCH KILL THEM BURN THEM THEY HAVE WITCH TRICKS WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND THEY MUST BE DEMONIC!!!!!!"

At some point along the grand timeline of existence... guess what, everything was new!

Penicillin was new!

SmartCookie: "OMG this idiot is saying EAT MOLD to get better. What a fucking idiot!"

Cell towers were new!

SmartCookie: "OMG those operate on RADIO WAVES you know what else does? MICROWAVES. These towers are going to MICROWAVE YOUR BRAIN!"

Cell phones got smaller!

SmartCookie: "OMG don't carry your cellphone in your pocket you're gonna get testicular cancer!!!"

Rock music was new!

SmartCookie: "OMG this is the devil's music don't listen to it your soul will be captured by Satan!"