I've recently come to terms with the fact that I am an addict

I understand your pain and have dug myself out of that hole too. My epiphany came when I realized I'd made drinking into my evening hobby and routine and I honestly enjoyed it, but it was killing me and preventing me from getting restful sleep which was causing all kinds of other problems.

Just for one evening, try planning something totally absorbing and time consuming and healthy instead of drinking. Perhaps set yourself a task of cleaning your kitchen until it's spotless and at 9pm, load up your phone with some interesting podcasts and go for a two hour walk so you can return home exhausted, have a drink of water and fall into bed without taking any pills.

There's ever chance your biggest obstacle is that you no longer know what to do with your time, other than drinking and drugs.

Do you speak with Jesus Christ often? Jesus Christ will be your best friend during this time in ways that may surprise you because you can try to lie to yourself but you can't lie to Him (because He'll know). It makes for some healthy discussions and some healing guidance.

Rehab is likely not the solution because it won't fix your life or problems and people often use that time to "party harder" than usual because they don't have to show up to work the next day. Please try finding activities to replace your drinking hobby at night instead. Establish a structured evening routine with enjoyable alternatives to drinking and drug use and within two weeks it will feel normal. You can discuss this with me if you like and I'll try to help. PM me if you want.

I've recently come to terms with the fact that I am an addict

I understand your pain and have dug myself out of that hole too. My epiphany came when I realized I'd made drinking into my evening hobby and routine and I honestly enjoyed it, but it was killing me and preventing me from getting restful sleep which was causing all kinds of other problems.

Just for one evening, try planning something totally absorbing and time consuming and healthy instead of drinking. Perhaps set yourself a task of cleaning your kitchen until it's spotless and at 9pm, load up your phone with some interesting podcasts and go for a two hour walk so you can return home exhausted, have a drink of water and fall into bed without taking any pills.

There's ever chance your biggest obstacle is that you no longer know what to do with your time, other than drinking and drugs.

Do you speak with Jesus Christ often? Jesus Christ will be your best friend during this time in ways that may surprise you because you can try to lie to yourself but you can't lie to Him (because He'll know). It makes for some healthy discussions and some healing guidance.

Rehab is likely not the solution because it won't fix your life or problems and people often use that time to "party harder" than usual because they don't have to show up to work the next day. Please try finding activities to replace your drinking hobby at night instead. You can discuss this with me if you like and I'll try to help. PM me if you want.