I think you are hitting the proverbial nail on the head. It sounds like she is using religion to justify her position which has no scriptural basis. If she was following a godly path, her husband would be having the final say in matters such as this. I know that is not what people want to hear in this post modern era, but it is biblical. The matriarchs of the faith followed their husbands in matters concerning the direction they should go. Their faith was in God and they believed that in the end, God was their protector and he honored them for their obedience of allowing their husbands to be their earthly covering - even if they didn't feel that their husbands were making the best decision at the time. Think Abraham and Sarah.

A family can only have one person in charge - and that role has been given to the husband. That is not the same thing as saying that the husband lords over the wife and that she is reduced to servitude and a doormat. That is progressive feminist speak. The husband is to love his wife even over his own life. He is to honor and care for her as Christ cares for his body. He takes her concerns into his decision making and does not discard them. But, he alone has to bear the responsibility of the major decisions regarding the family that he has been given charge over. He alone will be held accountable before God for the decisions he makes. Believers need to understand these principles before they decide to be married. There must be a meeting of the minds on this vital issue or they will be challenged on it later - guaranteed. When there is no understanding on who has the final say, what this couple is experiencing ends up being the result.

This wife has put others over her head as her covering and not her husband. That is a huge problem and it is ungodly. Then she turns around and is using religion as the excuse for her ungodly behavior. I am afraid that this poor guy has much bigger problems in his marriage that are only now coming to a head due to the current circumstances. He really only has two choices when it all is distilled down. Either he stands on his right and authority given by God as the leader of the house, or he knuckles under to his wife and abdicates his authority to his wife. He must make his decision and she in turn will make hers. Each will be responsible for their decisions that either line up with scripture or not. This is a difficult situation. But in the hard challenges of life we have to be able to stand before our Creator with clean hands and a pure heart over the decisions we make.