So for those confused about the exact shape of the teacher's problem, it's not that she's upset she can't talk about her sex life with her students. People who aren't part of the LGBT community don't often understand exactly how often it "comes up" by accident.

For instance, do you have a picture of your spouse on your desk? Ever had lunch with your spouse at the workplace? Been seen with your spouse at the mall? Do you mention seeing "your wife's family" or anything else that implies the gender of who you're married to?

Because when a gay person does any of those benign things, it becomes immediately obvious he or she is gay to everyone around. Something as simple as having a picture of a man with his husband on his desk next to his computer can and has been considered "pushing the normalizing of homosexuality" and so forth.

Now, I don't think the law specifically bans the teacher from admitting she's married to someone who doesn't identify as a straight man. But that's what's causing distress: it's kind of ambiguous exactly what parents are going to consider unacceptable, and it seems like this may be a way of loopholing people out of the system just for either not being straight or having a significant relationship with someone who isn't straight (on the basis of ensuring the students never accidentally get exposed to the lifestyle).

And if that's the threat, the teacher feels like her only other option is to, in her view, lie by publicly calling her spouse by the wrong identity. Which is about one of the most unsupportive things you can do for someone who identifies differently than their biological sex suggests.

I know what board I'm talking to and not envisioning any sympathy for her position, but it's worth knowing that it's less about wanting to share her "private life" and more about wanting to be as open about her marriage as any other teacher is allowed to be (rather than having to actively conceal it). And the ambiguity of the law (and the intent behind it) doesn't seem to guarantee that.

So for those confused about the exact shape of the teacher's problem, it's not that she's upset she can't talk about her sex life with her students. People who aren't part of the LGBT community don't often understand exactly how often it "comes up" by accident.

For instance, do you have a picture of your spouse on your desk? Ever had lunch with your spouse at the workplace? Been seen with your spouse at the mall? Do you mention seeing "your wife's family" or anything else that implies the gender of who you're married to?

Because when a gay person does any of those benign things, it becomes immediately obvious he or she is gay to everyone around. Something as simple as having a picture of a man with his husband on his desk next to his computer can and has been considered "pushing the normalizing of homosexuality" and so forth.

Now, I don't think the law specifically bans the teacher from admitting she's married to someone who doesn't identify as a straight man. But that's what's causing distress: it's kind of ambiguous exactly what parents are going to consider unacceptable, and it seems like this may be a way of loopholing people out of the system just for either not being straight or having a significant relationship with someone who isn't straight (on the basis of ensuring the students never accidentally get exposed to the lifestyle).

And if that's the threat, the teacher feels like her only other option is to, in her view, lie by publicly calling her spouse by the wrong identity. Which is about one of the most unsupportive things you can do for someone who identifies differently than their biological sex suggests.

I know what board I'm talking to and not envisioning any sympathy for her position, but it's worth knowing that it's less about wanting to share her "private life" and more about wanting to be as open about her marriage as any other teacher is allowed to be. And the ambiguity of the law (and the intent behind it) doesn't seem to guarantee that.