You:

Did not say to [stare] directly. Good grief.

Also you:

I just can’t get myself to stare directly, just yet.....

Good grief.

Wikipedia:

Sungazing is the dangerous practice of looking directly into the Sun.

Healthline.com:

Sun gazing is a method of meditation that attempts to harness the healing power of the sun. Participants look directly at the sun...

I never heard of this until just now, presumably because it's a profoundly stupid practice that can cause instant blindness.

You:

Did not say to [stare] directly. Good grief.

Also you:

I just can’t get myself to stare directly, just yet.....

Good grief.