God bless you...truly. I empathize with you 100%. I've had that same kind of mother, who's been out of control since my father passed in 1986. My mom is in her early 90s now...has estranged all three of us kids at one time or another, as well as all of the grandkids (among whom she, too, has played favorites).

She's the only surviving sibling out of her own nine brothers/sisters. With exception of a couple neighbors, she's gotten to a place where (like or not) she's bitched about wanting to be for decades...to be completely alone. I've been permanently estranged from, and haven't spoken to, her in well over a decade in a last-ditch effort to keep her toxicity away from my own wife and two now-grown sons.

I have days where I have guilt...I've had dozens of friends, acquaintances, co-workers who look at me like I'm a demon for treating my mother this way when I attempt to explain the situation. I also remember what the Bible says about taking care of the widows and orphaned...but then I hear stories from my oldest sister (who, despite being heaped with abuse, occasionally helps her) and how my mother hasn't changed (and has, in fact, gotten worse), defying and offending the few friends and doctors who stay in touch with her, remaining abusive and stubborn...and I just can't feel bad about it.

So again -- God bless you.

God bless you...truly. I empathize with you 100%. I've had that same kind of mother, who's been out of control since my father passed in 1986. My mom is in her early 90s now...has estranged all three of us kids at one time or another, as well as all of the grandkids (among whom she, too, has played favorites).

She's the only surviving sibling out of her own nine brothers/sisters. With exception of a couple neighbors, she's gotten to a place where (like or not) she's bitched about wanting to be for decades...to be completely alone. I've been permanently estranged from, and haven't spoken to, her in well over a decade in a last-ditch effort to keep her toxicity away from my own wife and two now-grown sons.

I have days where I have guilt...I've had dozens of friends, acquaintances, co-workers who look at me like I'm a demon for treating my mother this way. I also remember what the Bible says about taking care of the widows and orphaned...but then I hear stories from my oldest sister (who, despite being heaped with abuse, occasionally helps her) and how my mother hasn't changed (and has, in fact, gotten worse), defying and offending the few friends and doctors who stay in touch with her, remaining abusive and stubborn...and I just can't feel bad about it.

So again -- God bless you.