You did good job, it's just that the correct Iambic pentameter makes it flow better.

For example this is something I wrote with perfect rhythem:

Before you go to sleep tonight
Please give god your prayers
Trust in him with all your heart
To take away your cares
Thank him for the good and bad
Both make your life complete
For who does not know bitter
Does not know what is sweet.

Then when slumbers siren call
Lures me to my dreams
No longer bound by distance
Or other worldly things
I'll fly up to meet you in the heavens
Among the stars above
To wrap you up with tenderness
And hold you in my love.

You did good job, it's just that the correct Iambic pentameter makes it flow better.

For example this is something I wrote with perfect rhythem:

Before you go to sleep tonight Please give god your prayers
Trust in him with all your heart
To take away your cares
Thank him for the good and bad
Both make your life complete
For who does not know bitter
Does not know what is sweet.

Then when slumbers siren call
Lures me to my dreams
No longer bound by distance
Or other worldly things
I'll fly up to meet you in the heavens
Among the stars above
To wrap you up with tenderness
And hold you in my love.

You did good job, it's just that the correct Iambic pentameter makes it flow better.