As wonderful as the “New Golden Age” has been the past week, it’s now painfully evident that President Trump’s immigration policies will quickly destroy life in America. As the media will gladly tell you, deporting illegal aliens will spell certain doom for the U.S. Unfortunately, they’re right.
The Babylon Bee has put together the following list of guaranteed ways deporting illegal immigrants will devastate the country:
Major League Baseball will be reduced to five teams: There just aren’t enough native-born players to fill all the rosters.
Californians will now be forced to mow their own yards: This will be the second-worst thing to happen in California this year.
The burden will fall on Americans to do all the murdering and raping: It’s a tall order to ask hardworking Americans to fill that large of a void.
Springfield, Ohio will be overrun by the exploding stray cat population: If only there was someone there to eat them.
The threat of Selena Gomez making more crying TikTok videos will increase exponentially: Hollywood may well be submerged under the flood of liberal tears.
Millions of taxpayer-funded prepaid debit cards will just sit in a warehouse with no one to use them: How can a country function when it’s not subsidizing immigrants’ flatscreen TVs?
Hotel rooms will fall into squalor due to not being cleaned: If you thought hotel rooms were dirty before (they were), just wait.
A nationwide burrito shortage: Get ready to pay ridiculously marked-up prices for your carne asada burrito.
Home Depot parking lots will become lonely, unpopulated wastelands: They were once bustling, humming hot spots. Not anymore.
Millions of Americans will have learned to speak Spanish for nothing: There will be no one to ask “Donde esta la biblioteca?” anymore.
So long, life in America. It was great while it lasted.
From our friends at The Babylon Bee.🐝
Suddenly, now that Donald Trump is in the White House, mainstream media journalists are concerned about inflation and the state of the economy. Just like that, Leftmedia talkingheads are worried about how inflation is negatively impacting the economy. That's funny because a few months ago, they were insisting it was in great shape and scratching their collective heads over why the voters couldn't seem to get it into their thick skulls just how good the economy was.
