Depending on what translation u read. Modern take on it says he returned the silver and repented of his sins and then went and hung himself. Older accounts say he returned silver and repented and then left the area. Either way the point of christ was to take away our sins so to ne he was just the first person. And the other disciples talk about him bad because to them jesus was to perfect and good to be put to death. They followed Christ like a God. He was meant to be followed as a man doing Gods will. If God willith then let it be done. Few would follow God even if it goes against everything they think l. This is true faith