I'm sorry to hear that. I do know where you're coming from all too well actually. My own relationship with Him has been... rocky you could say. I went through years without even trying to pray to Him since I was an atheist and then suddenly one year He brought me back by showing me the rabbit hole.

Then for the past 5 years it's been on and off. Same thing, where I feel like He wasn't listening to me or that He had actually forsaken me altogether. It's only relatively recently that I've felt that call again.

Keep at it. Don't give up. Pray for faith, study the bible (with the help of genuine and learned men like Chuck Missler, Trey Smith or someone similar ) to discover the excitement of reading His Word, and try to find some fellowship somewhere even if it's only online.

I'll pray for us both.