I come from a big family, and I remember one summer we were all together. My siblings, and cousins spent our days riding our bikes all day, having the best time exploring, getting into mischief. Come dusk, when we had to come inside, we would all come flying to the house for dinner and drop our bikes in the front yard and run in. My parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents would say, "you better put those bikes up, or you might wake up to them being gone". One day, that in fact did happen. We ate breakfast after a sleep over, and ran out to get our bikes. They were gone. We scrambled looking around the house and yard for them, but they were gone. Some of the younger cousins started bawling, and panic washed over us. THEY WERE GONE. The elders showed no comfort, "we told you so". We spent the rest of the day absolutely broken. We never thought it never would happen. Reality kicked us in the stomach. We were a poor family, and the possibility of all of us getting new bikes any time soon was impossible. Our summer was OVER. We should have listened. As a child, the despair we felt was overwhelming. We should have paid attention. The next day, all of us woke up defeated, pissing and moaning. The elders told us to go outside and play. "THERE'S NOTHING TO DO!!" we whined. "GET YOUR ASSES OUTSIDE!!" Heads hung low, we complied. To our amazement, all of our bikes were outside in all their glory! WTF!!! We couldn't believe it! The elders had hidden our bikes, to teach us a lesson about securing what is precious to us. It was an awakening, a lesson that would last the rest of our lives. I believe our current situation with our country is devastatingly similar. We got complacent, comfortable, and recklessly ignorant. I do believe that Q is teaching ALL of us a very hard lesson. One that will last generations. We will soon have our country back. We shall never let the ruling class go unchecked, and in the darkness, take away what is most precious to us. IT HAD TO BE THIS WAY.
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I don't know you but I have to ask:
Did you make these decisions without consulting your wife?
Did you just decide that what you thought was for safety would be okay to unilaterally decide?
Don't let fear run your life.
Reclaim what you've lost if you can.
See a professional, it's possible you're dealing with some shit that made you behave in ways you thought you needed to but were excessive.
Please take care of yourself, fren.