I’d say you’re not an atheist. An atheist is like militantly anti-god. You’re definitely more of an agnostic, but even then you’re searching for god so somewhere deep down you already believe.
I was in the same boat. Atheist then sometimes agnostic throughout my life. I’m not pious much at all but the longer I live the more evidence I see of God, which really is as good as it gets for humans knowing truth.
I know I’m a sinner, I know I’m plagued by demons, I know I often fail, but I always find a reason and path to be better through God.
I’d say you’re not an atheist. An atheist is like militantly anti-god. You’re definitely more of an agnostic, but even then you’re searching for god so somewhere deep down you already believe.
Keep looking, you’ll find god.
I was in the same boat. Atheist then sometimes agnostic throughout my life. I’m not pious much at all but the longer I live the more evidence I see of God, which really is as good as it gets for humans knowing truth.
I know I’m a sinner, I know I’m plagued by demons, I know I often fail, but I always find a reason and path to be better through God.
Highly recommend Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. You sound like me a couple years ago and that book is really something else. Bon voyage!