I definitely agree there is a different frame of thought in old school Christianity vs modern Christianity and there are a lot of deviations in modern interpretations of scripture.
I didn't grow up in a Christian home and my only knowledge of Christianity was what I saw on TV and how people I knew were Christians acted. I was very opposed to God, or what I thought at the time was God, because of this. I was actively against and full of hatred towards Christians and Christianity.
God revealed himself to me through a series of events and visions at a Crossroads in my life. The most profound was when I was studying Aleister Crowley with some friends and someone they referred to as a guru. We were getting ready to head to a huge occult convention later that day.
All of a sudden all I could see was fire, like I was inside of a huge bonfire, completely surrounded by an inferno. I tried to open and close my eyes but it made no difference, it was all I could see. In addition to this, all I could hear was this intense rumble, like what it sounds like when you are standing beside a freight train going by. There was also a feeling of impending doom that was indescribably brutal.
Before this, I thought the spiritual realm was kind of a joke and didn't really believe in it. To me, the occult was just a cool thing to be into and went well with my lifestyle. A few hours after this I accepted Christ into my heart at the suggestion of someone I trusted. They later turned out to be someone who used Christianity to manipulate me.
Since I didn't know anything about Christianity, have any Christian friends or know of any church I could learn about God at, I got a bunch of books at a thrift store. These were all really sketchy, borderline cult books and this really led me astray towards legalism. I started going to church and ultimately this led me further astray, eventually leading me to abandon my faith. I was a Christian for about 10 years at this point. Modern interpretations definitely led me astray.
After leaving my faith I didn't think much about God other than that if he was real, he wasn't what I had learned at these churches or in the books I read. I recently prayed again for the first time in almost 8 years, largely because of this board.
I think what you posted makes a lot of sense. It really does seem like this life is a test (hellish) at times. My hardships have made me a stronger person and I can see how it would be a path to salvation and immortality. If I didn't go through the struggles I have, I would be a very different person, someone who I would currently be ashamed of.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me and what you posted definitely resonates with me. I think you probably felt called to make your original post. I don't post much here as I don't really have much of value to add to the conversation but I just wanted to confirm to you that it was very helpful, at least to me.
I definitely agree there is a different frame of thought in old school Christianity vs modern Christianity and there are a lot of deviations in modern interpretations of scripture.
I didn't grow up in a Christian home and my only knowledge of Christianity was what I saw on TV and how people I knew were Christians acted. I was very opposed to God, or what I thought at the time was God, because of this. I was actively against and full of hatred towards Christians and Christianity.
God revealed himself to me through a series of events and visions at a Crossroads in my life. The most profound was when I was studying Aleister Crowley with some friends and someone they referred to as a guru. We were getting ready to head to a huge occult convention later that day.
All of a sudden all I could see was fire, like I was inside of a huge bonfire, completely surrounded by an inferno. I tried to open and close my eyes but it made no difference, it was all I could see. In addition to this, all I could hear was this intense rumble, like what it sounds like when you are standing beside a freight train going by. There was also a feeling of impending doom that was indescribably brutal.
Before this, I thought the spiritual realm was kind of a joke and didn't really believe in it. To me, the occult was just a cool thing to be into and went well with my lifestyle. A few hours after this I accepted Christ into my heart at the suggestion of someone I trusted. They later turned out to be someone who used Christianity to manipulate me.
Since I didn't know anything about Christianity, have any Christian friends or know of any church I could learn about God at, I got a bunch of books at a thrift store. These were all really sketchy, borderline cult books and this really led me astray towards legalism. I started going to church and ultimately this led me further astray, eventually leading me to abandon my faith. I was a Christian for about 10 years at this point. Modern interpretations definitely led me astray.
After leaving my faith I didn't think much about God other than that if he was real, he wasn't what I had learned at these churches or in the books I read. I recently prayed again for the first time in almost 8 years, largely because of this board.
I think what you posted makes a lot of sense. It really does seem like this life is a test (hellish) at times. My hardships have made me a stronger person and I can see how it would be a path to salvation and immortality. If I didn't go through the struggles I have, I would be a very different person, someone who I would currently be ashamed of.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me and what you posted definitely resonates with me. I think you probably felt called to make your original post. I don't post much here as I don't really have much of value to add to the conversation but I just wanted to confirm to you that it was very helpful, at least to me.