Nuts. Wrote a long response and lost it. I will summarize but gonna cut some out.

You read a line of Shakespeare. You realize the line can be interpreted in two ways. Both make sense in the context of the play. You say to yourself: "Which did Shakespeare intend? Which did he overlook?"

Answer: Shakespeare was a genius. He was aware of both, and included both.

Same with Torah.

(I inserted example from book of Esther. Gonna skip that now)

As for you:

Judgments involve everything about you, including where you came from, who your parents were. G-d takes everything into account.

Two men.

Man one: A thug. He makes his living stealing purses from old women. One day, he sees an old woman. On the ground is a brick. He can hit her in the head with a brick and steal her purse. She wouldn't be able to call the cops. He decides to just shove her and grab the purse, and accept that she'll yell for the cops and maybe he'll get caught.

In his judgement, can he get credit for not hitting her with a brick? At his low moral level, yes he can.

Man two: A tzaddik. Righteous man. On his way to shul, his wife asks him to buy her some milk from the store. He starts to get annoyed. But then he realizes he should not be annoyed to do his wife a favor. He controls that emotion, and buys her the milk before going to shul.

In his judgment, he gets credit for controlling his emotions and not letting himself get annoyed with his wife.

Does the tzaddik get credit for not hitting an old woman in the head with a brick? No, he does not. That action is so far beneath him it would not be considered a credit.

Does the thug get punished for failing to control his emotions around his girlfriend? No. That virtue is too far above him. He'd judged on things that were at his level. Under his control. Like whether or not he put his cigarettes out on his girlfriend's arm.

Even if you're at the level of the Thug... or even at a level beneath that of the thug, that doesn't mean you are powerless to greatly improve your judgment at the end. G-d will take into account your history, your background, your parents, your influences. And say: "Yes, I gave you a very difficult hand to play with your moral development. So tell me.... what did you do with what I gave you?"

He'll expect different answers from me.

And different answers from my Rabbi. My starting hand may have been moral than yours. My Rabbi's starting hand was more moral than mine. And if you decide: "I've had enough of Satanism, I want to live in a moral life from here on out!" That might be a tremendous virtue, a gigantic mitzvah, one that even I don't have access to. I couldn't do that if I wanted to. I can't tell G-d that I was born into a religion that worshipped evil, but found the moral courage to turn my back on it and walk away. You have the opportunity for this giant good deed. I don't.

You have the opportunity for a righteous deed beyond anything available to me.