I 100% understand. I've been through a similar situation, (not with the covid stuff) but very similar. I didn't get to say goodbye to my dad. Our dads are most definitely with God. There's too many things that were unsaid, unfinished... I went through a lot of pain about that. But it does get better. I promise. Nothing will diminish the bond you had with your dad. My problem has been focusing too much on the end , instead of looking at my whole lifetime with my dad. Start writing things down that you remember, the good stuff. Write it down before you start to forget it. When you are feeling down, go back and look at what you've written. Pay attention to your dreams. Sometimes they have a way of being able to let you know they're ok. and all is well. Our goodbyes in this realm, or the non-goodbyes that we've both experienced, are NOTHING at all compared to the joyous hellos we will experience when we go home too someday. Life moves fast. This is just an interruption. Nothing has changed. Nothing has been diminished. Even if we didn't get to truly say "goodbye". Sorry to ramble. Hang in there, fren.