Some people are VERY good at hiding their dark sides.
When you find out, often people won't believe you because they've been charmed by the psychopath, too.
Happened to me.
Not the same type of situation, but domestic violence.
You have to understand, people that sick have had to hide their illness for years.
They excel at putting forth a "mask of sanity," as Cleckley called it.
Here's a quote from Wikipedia (sorry, too lazy to look for more):
The Mask of Sanity is distinguished by its central thesis, that the psychopath exhibits normal function according to standard psychiatric criteria, yet privately engages in destructive behavior. The book was intended to assist with detection and diagnosis of the elusive psychopath for purposes of palliation and offered no cure for the condition itself. The idea of a master deceiver secretly possessed of no moral or ethical restraints, yet behaving in public with excellent function, electrified American society and led to heightened interest in both psychological introspection and the detection of hidden psychopaths in society at large, leading to a refinement of the word itself into what was perceived to be a less stigmatizing term, "sociopath".
I'd guess there are many men and women who are marrying some part of what they see in a person and blocking out the rest. It can't end well.
Some people are VERY good at hiding their dark sides.
When you find out, often people won't believe you because they've been charmed by the psychopath, too.
Happened to me.
Not the same type of situation, but domestic violence.
You have to understand, people that sick have had to hide their illness for years.
They excel at putting forth a "mask of sanity," as Cleckley called it.
Here's a quote from Wikipedia (sorry, too lazy to look for more):
The Mask of Sanity is distinguished by its central thesis, that the psychopath exhibits normal function according to standard psychiatric criteria, yet privately engages in destructive behavior. The book was intended to assist with detection and diagnosis of the elusive psychopath for purposes of palliation and offered no cure for the condition itself. The idea of a master deceiver secretly possessed of no moral or ethical restraints, yet behaving in public with excellent function, electrified American society and led to heightened interest in both psychological introspection and the detection of hidden psychopaths in society at large, leading to a refinement of the word itself into what was perceived to be a less stigmatizing term, "sociopath".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hervey_M._Cleckley
Edited to correct typo and add quote.