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posted 4 years ago by MichaelGioIreland 4 years ago by MichaelGioIreland +61 / -1
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– ThisIsHowItStarts 3 points 4 years ago +3 / -0

Once you get out of your parents, and your life seems to be secure, I feel it is very important for you to have tough discussions with your brother who has a child. If you’re a parents or abusive with you, are they abusive with your other siblings? I know it is difficult facing what you have faced, but abuse Chatterley continues in a family, because people are too afraid to deal with the pain and confront those who have been the abusers. It is very common for other siblings or family members to deny what happened to you. But the most important thing right now is for you to be well and safe and secure. After that you have a nephew to think about. Once you leave the home, they may need to find another person to abuse. Breaking that dichotomy, could potentially put the child at risk. Although the child is not your personal responsibility, I feel it’s very necessary for you to have a serious conversation with your brother. All you can do is speak the truth, in love, and hope that he listens. I pray for your safety your family safety and the safety of your nephew. Just think, you may be the one thing, or the one person to make a difference in this child’s life, that could potentially be just as difficult as yours was. Count it an honor and a blessing to be able to keep him from having and experiencing some of the pain that you’ve gone through. God bless you you are brave and strong.

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– MichaelGioIreland [S] 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0

Thank you for the prayers. I will talk to my brother soon about parenting. I've been reading about the Inuit parenting without yelling or aggression to the children and I hope he is receptive. Hopefully, we can later talk about what happened to me and him and how to handle my parents being around his son.

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– ThisIsHowItStarts 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0

I don’t know if you guys are Christian or not, but when I had my daughter I was a single mother. I just got knocked drugs, and wanted a better life for my child. The church that I was going to have the time had a class called growing kids gods way. It was the best class I’ve ever taken in regards to raising children. One of the things that they had and there were choices and consequences. He would set up boundaries and choices in advance, at the right age you can even ask your children what the consequences should be for their actions. Generally children will choose how much harsher consequence than a parent will, and you can work with them through that. Once we had this system in place, I rarely had to hold my daughter accountable for her actions, or apply a consequence. She was very smart and she understood how the system worked. It was a joy and a pleasure raising my daughter, because using this system there were no punishments. There is no such thing as punishment. It was basically a consequence for choice that was being made. Being a mother was my biggest pleasure, and I hope that your brother and wife can come up with something like this. At the very least, you can, with your nephew, when he’s in your presence or visiting or having sleepovers. I can’t explain to you that having the burden lifted of disciplining, and punishment, off of our shoulders, how different parenting can be. It also teaches the valuable lesson of doing the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do. More people in the world should hold true to that that virtue, and if they did we wouldn’t be going through what we are right now in America. God bless you and have a great day!

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