I used to work in a writing center for undergraduates while attending graduate school. I see a lot of similarities between your writing and that of many college freshmen. Before I critique, I would say that you’re off to a good start you have a lot of good information. Also, kudos for getting involved in extracurriculars. They are where I learned the most in high school, thirty years ago ?.
That being said, your article comes across like the freshmen trying to impress their professor. It’s not that you can’t use rare words in your prose, but you should only do so if it makes the ideas easier to understand. As a journalist, this is your goal. Good journalism is succinct. Unless you’re writing a novel or writing for The New Yorker, stick to facts: who, why, where, when. When I was taking journalism courses as an undergrad, I remember my professor mentioning that the NYT’s was written for an 8th grade reading level, and that has stuck with me all these years. Don’t use ten words when five will do.
I used to work in a writing center for undergraduates while attending graduate school. I see a lot of similarities between your writing and that of many college freshmen. Before I critique, I would say that you’re off to a good start you have a lot of good information. Also, kudos for getting involved in extracurriculars. They are where I learned the most in high school, thirty years ago ?.
That being said, your article comes across like the freshmen trying to impress their professor. It’s not that you can’t use rare words in your prose, but you should only do so if it makes the ideas easier to understand. As a journalist, this is your goal. Good journalism is succinct. Unless you’re writing a novel or writing for The New Yorker, stick to facts: who, why, where, when. When I was taking journalism courses as an undergrad, I remember my professor mentioning that the NYT’s was written for an 8th grade reading level, and that has stuck with me all these years. Don’t use ten words when five will do.
Best of luck to you fren.